Sunday, March 28, 2010

- "Count my BLESSINGS." -

I'm trying to count all my blessings that I've got in my life until today ^.^
Here's the list..

1. I have Jesus in my life, The One that I can lean on.

2. I have a nice house, the only place which makes me feel safe and a place that I always want to go after being tired spending time out there.

3. I have a comfortable bedroom, which I love to spend most of my time with and enjoy my own world.

4. I have a super duper best friend whom I can deeply trust to, Ria Wulandari.

5. I have a nuclear family, who loves me and I love too.

6. I have pets which are really cute, the ones that will never ever hurt my heart and always make me laugh.

7. I have a best friend, Sulistia Wijaya, who always teaches me to think positively.

8. I have some sisters in God who always care and listen to my problems.

9. I have some brothers in God who always "bully" me as a way to show that they care of me.

10. I have one big brother that I love so much and he always takes care of me and teaches me to do things well.

11. I have two prayer communities, BiG and Hieronimus, the media for me to grow in Jesus.

12. I have some talents to serve Him, though they're not perfect, but they are given to me so that I can use them to praise Him.

13. I have good gadgets that entertain me everyday, e.g.: iPod, handphone, computer and internet.

14. I have a blog where I can tell my stories and thoughts every time I want to.

15. I have enough money to eat and buy some things that I want.

16. I'm studying in a good catholic university in the right major, and I love it so much.

17. I have good friends and environment in the university and I learn so many things from them.

18. I have experienced some love stories in my life, and though they ended unhappily, but they teach me a lot of things in life and they make me stronger.

19. I have a lot of leisure time to hang out with my friends or just to have "me times".

20. I have a lot of chance to attend the holy mass, either in the workdays or weekends.

21. I have complete parts of the body, and they are well functioned.

22. I have some music instruments at home, something to play when I get bored.

23. I still can breathe the air everyday, and see the sun rises every time I wake up in the morning.

24. I can read The Bible freely every time I want while people in many parts of the world cant.

25. I have good achievements at school and university, and these all just because of Him.

26. I have enough clothes to be worn.

27. I have so many friends to share my laughter and tears.

28. I have a hardworking father who works hard and never gives up to support the family.

29. I have a caring mother who cooks almost everyday for the family.

30. I have loyal maids who help my family taking care of our house.

31. I and my family are healthy enough.

32. I have never been hospitalized. Well, actually I ever had, but it was when I was a little and it wasn't a serious illness.

33. I have a good enough physical appearance.

34. I have a bright future, or at least, I wish I had.

35. I have some big dreams that motivate me and make my life alive.

36. I have a good job as an English teacher and I love it so much.

37. I teach 44 challenging students with different personalities and they are so lovable. They teach me a lot how to be patient.


I thank You a lot for every single thing that I have in my life, Lord..
They are PERFECT! (",)

thank You. thank You. thank You :)
Sometimes it's better not to have any choices
rather than drown into dilemma of making decisions..

Sunday, March 21, 2010

- "Ajarku bernyanyi BAGIMU.." -

Hari ini tanggal 21 Maret 2010. Minggu ketiga di bulan Maret. Seperti biasa, di minggu ketiga ada PD BiG.. Sejujurnya hari ini entah kenapa gw sama skali gak semangat utk pelayanan di BiG.. Jarang bgt si gw ngerasa begini.. Biasanya gw slalu semangat kapan pun dan dimana pun gw diminta utk melayani dalam bidang pujian.. Mungkin krn sebenarnya hari ini jg ada Worship Night ketiga di greja st. Yakobus.. Gw bener2 pengen banget ikut WN ini,, dan byk bgt dari tmn2 hiero yg ikut.. Jadi gw sedih bgt hari ini gak bs ksana brg mrk krn harus playanan sbg singer pengganti di BiG..
Btw gw cm sedih aja, tp bukan bete.

Jd hari ini gw bangun pagi dgn gak begitu bersemangat.. Pagi2 gw bangun utk kerjain tugas2 yg udh numpuk.. Lalu gw kebablasan blajar smpe lupa ternyata udh jam stgh 3 sore.. Dan tiba2 anak big udh jemput gw di dpn rumah.. Saat itu gw bener2 merasa malas skali. Rasanya gw cm setengah hati utk datang dan melayani di BiG. Ga ada semangat. Gak ada kerinduan. Gw cuma datang krn gw merasa harus bertanggungjawab krn kmrn2 udh menyanggupi utk menggantikan tmn gw mjd singer.. Seandainya hari ini gw gak tugas, kmungkinan besar gw gak akan dateng ke BiG hehe.. *ngaku dosa.. maaf yaahh..*

Begitu sampai di BiG, gw lemes bgt.. Gak niat latian sama skali.. Males ngobrol2 sm anak2 jg. Jd gw lbh memilih utk bengong2, tanpa bs senyum seperti biasanya. Anehh bgt rasanya.. Hampir gak pernah gw ngerasa semalas dan se- gak niat ini utk playanan huhu :(

Sampai akhirnya jam stgh 4 ada doa tim brg.. Saat berdoa, entah knapa gw tiba2 merasa ada yg menegur hati gw.. Ada suara yg tiba2 mengingatkan gw, "Ayo jangan layani Dia dengan setengah hati.. Kasih yang terbaik bwt Dia.. Kamu bernyanyi utk Dia loh.."
Hoaahh.. Saat itu gw ngerasain sesuatu yg beda.. Tiba2 mulut gw seperti lgsg "terlepas" utk bernyanyi.. Yg tadinya gw bener2 ngerasa berat utk bernyanyi, tiba2 gw malahan gak bs berenti menyanyi bwt Dia.. Bahkan stlh selsai berdoa,, gw msh terus nyanyi2 bbrp lagu rohani sendiri..

Lalu gw bertugas mjd singer dgn hati yg udh jauh berbeda dr sblmnya.. Walaupun gw sempet sedih ketika melihat ternyata umat yg datang sgt sedikit hari ini.. Secara manusiawi, jujur gw kecewa dan sempat terlintas di pikiran gw "Hoaahh gw ngorbanin gak ikut WN cm utk melayani bbrp org ini hari ini.." Oopss!! Gw lgsg segera sadar kl pikiran gw itu gak baik, dan sedetik kemudian lgsg ada prasaan menyesal krn udh berpikir spt itu.. Skali lagi spt ada suara yg mengingatkan, "Eits.. Yg kamu layani bukan cm bbrp org ini, tapi AKU."

Okeh, Tuhan. Gw cm bs senyum ajah saat dtegur spt itu.. Gw lgsg menyanyi dgn sepenuh hati dan sukacita.. Krn gw slalu ingat bhw yg terutama adl gw menyanyi utk Dia, bkn cm utk umat2 yg hadir.. Walaupun sedikit org yg datang ke PD tempat gw melayani, itu gak blh mjd alasan utk gw bermalas2an ato setengah hati, krn ada Dia yg hadir disana dan bertakhta di atas setiap pujian yg gw naikkan bagi Dia :)

Hari ini gw berdoa dan belajar ttg satu hal baru: "Ajarku bernyanyi bagiMu, Tuhan.."
(",)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

- "SIX years." -

Kemarin genap enam tahun gw berjalan bersama Dia di dalam hidup gw..
Genap enam tahun gw benar2 menyadari kehadiran dan cinta kasihNya di dalam hidup gw..

Enam tahun..
Bukan waktu yang singkat
Begitu banyak hal yang telah terjadi
Segala suka duka
Naik turun kehidupan dalam mengikuti Dia

Enam tahun..
Begitu banyak hal yang diajarkan olehNya
Begitu banyak pencobaan yang membuat gw kuat
Begitu banyak masalah yang membentuk karakter gw menjadi lebih baik
Begitu banyak moment dimana gw harus belajar utk tetap mengasihi dan bersyukur di dalam kesesakan
Begitu banyak kesaksian akan kuasa dan kasihNya di dalam hidup gw

Enam tahun yang sungguh membuat hidup gw terasa begitu berarti
Seakan2 14 tahun kehidupan gw sebelumnya tidaklah berarti apa2
Ya. Dia membuat hidup gw enam tahun terakhir ini benar2 berharga dan indah.
Kesadaran akan kehadiran dan penyertaanNya membuat gw merasa "hidup".

Gw bersyukur karena gw masih terus diberi kesempatan utk melayani Dia dari hari ke hari
Punya komunitas yang membangun gw, tempat gw bertumbuh bersama2 brothers n sisters
Punya alkitab yang bs gw baca dengan bebas setiap hari, tanpa dicengkeram rasa cemas dan takut
Punya berbagai karunia dan talenta yg bs digunakan utk melayani Dia dan sesama

Gw mau Dia menjaga hati gw utk boleh tetap setia padaNya
Gw mau Dia tetap memanggil dan menarik gw kembali setiap kali gw mulai berlari menjauhi Dia
Gw mau Dia selalu mengingatkan dan menuntun gw utk melakukan kehendak Dia
Gw mau terus berlari dan menyelesaikan tugas gw sampai pada akhirnya gw mencapai garis finish!! Amiiinnn :)

There's no word to express my gratefulness unto Him for having Him in my life..
Walking with Him, my life's so BEAUTIFUL (",)

I love You even more day by day, Lord..


*You make my life so COLORFUL as the rainbow*