- " the incurable PAIN." -

Please teach me how to heal this pain..
By forgiving him?! I did it. I've forgiven him.. But healing the pain in my heart is a different thing,, it couldn't be healed just by forgiving..
It needs a long process. It's not that simple. And it's not easy at all.
But isn't a year enough? I've wasted a whole year fighting to heal this pain and raise up.. But what do I get now? Nothing.

I still can't open my heart for others. I'm still protecting myself, cause I'm afraid whether the same thing would happen again. I'm afraid to be hurt one more time.

But if I let this thing happen continuously, I do worry if someday I really hate boys and have no feeling to them at all. The thought that "all boys are jerk" has fettered my mind these days..
I'm still struggling for not letting it happen. But it's really hard, though.

I do want a boyfriend. I do want to open my heart for someone. But I still don't know how to do that. The fear and worry inside my heart are much bigger than my desire to have someone special..

What should I do? Help me healing this incurable pain he has made in my life T.T
Teach me how to forgive and forget him, please..
I just wanna be free.