Jangan memilih aku
bila kau tak sanggup setia
Kau tak mengerti aku,
diriku yang pernah terluka

- "I will SURVIVE" -

At first I was afraid I was petrified
I kept thinking I could never leave without you by my side
But when I spend so many nights just thinking how you'd done me wrong
I grew strong
And I learned how to get along

And so now you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here without the look upon your face
I should have changed my f-ing lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I'd have known for just one second you'll be back to bother me

Oh now go, walk out the door
Just turn around
Now you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire
Didn't you think I'd crumble
Didn't you think I'd lied down and die
Hold on
I will survive
As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart
I'm trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry but now I hold my head up high

And you see me with somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you
And so you thought you just drop by
And you expect me to be free
But now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me

A fake smile to hide a thousand tears..

Lord,
I'm not ready to be hurt once more..
I'm exhausted.
I just wanna scream and cry out loud.
May I?

I almost forget how does falling in love feel like,
but I can still remember so clearly how does
being hurt feel like.

- "because of YOU." -

Happy Easter!! ^.^

Waahh hari ini adalah hari kemenangan bwt smua umat Kristiani..
Why? Because Jesus has conquered the grave victoriously and risen for you and me :)

Dan pastinya ini jg merupakan hari kemenangan bagi diri gw pribadi..
Krn hari ini gw berhenti berpantang daging.. Setelah genap 46 hari gw mencoba utk menahan keinginan gw makan daging hehehe..
Puji Tuhan bgt kl gw udh diberi kekuatan utk berpantang dan berpuasa slama 40 hari lbh ini.. Sungguh gw menyadari bahwa gw gak akan pernah mampu melakukannya tanpa Dy yg memberi kesanggupan kpd gw..

Gw ingat bagaimana pada hari rabu abu tgl 17 februari 2010 yang lalu gw memulai hari pertama pantangan gw.. Sejujurnya gw sempat merasa kuatir kalau2 gw gak akan kuat utk ngelewatin 40 hari ke depan tanpa mengonsumsi daging sama skali.. Scara gw paling suka yg namanya daging, terutama ayam hehe.. Gw jg bingung kira2 gw mesti makan apa yah nanti, krn pasti lebih susah bwt cari makan dmana2.. Tapi saat itu gw membulatkan hati gw, dan hari demi hari gw mencoba utk bertahan spy gak tergoda..

Dan sampailah gw pada hari ini.. Aku menang! :D
Menang, tetapi bukan karna kuat gagah gw, melainkan karena Dy yang memberi kekuatan kpd gw.. Tahun lalu gw hanya bs terkagum melihat bbrp teman sekomunitas melakukan pantang dan puasa 40 hari spt ini, dan gw hanya bermimpi dan berharap kl gw pun bs melakukannya di tahun ini.. Dan ternyata Tuhan memberi gw kesanggupan utk melakukannya,, big thanks to HIM :)

Mungkin memang begitu mengerikan ketika di awal gw membayangkan betapa panjangnya 40 hari itu.. Tetapi ternyata ketika gw fokus menjalaninya hari demi hari, tanpa memikirkan msh berapa lama lagi gw harus bertahan, ternyata itu semua gak seseram yang gw bayangkan.. Gak sesulit yang gw duga. Dan pada hari ke 46 ini gw mendapati diri gw menang atas godaan2.. Gw cuma bs bersyukur bersyukur dan bersyukur..

Semoga setiap pantang dan puasa gw ini boleh menjadi satu persembahan yang harum bagi Dy dan namaNya blh dimuliakan lbh tinggi lagi..
Thank You, Lord (",)
I can do it just because of YOU..

*Happy E.A.S.T.E.R*

Benarkah bahwa

"Tuhan tidak pernah memilih orang yang siap,
tetapi Ia mempersiapkan orang yang telah dipilihNya?"

- "Count my BLESSINGS." -

I'm trying to count all my blessings that I've got in my life until today ^.^
Here's the list..

1. I have Jesus in my life, The One that I can lean on.

2. I have a nice house, the only place which makes me feel safe and a place that I always want to go after being tired spending time out there.

3. I have a comfortable bedroom, which I love to spend most of my time with and enjoy my own world.

4. I have a super duper best friend whom I can deeply trust to, Ria Wulandari.

5. I have a nuclear family, who loves me and I love too.

6. I have pets which are really cute, the ones that will never ever hurt my heart and always make me laugh.

7. I have a best friend, Sulistia Wijaya, who always teaches me to think positively.

8. I have some sisters in God who always care and listen to my problems.

9. I have some brothers in God who always "bully" me as a way to show that they care of me.

10. I have one big brother that I love so much and he always takes care of me and teaches me to do things well.

11. I have two prayer communities, BiG and Hieronimus, the media for me to grow in Jesus.

12. I have some talents to serve Him, though they're not perfect, but they are given to me so that I can use them to praise Him.

13. I have good gadgets that entertain me everyday, e.g.: iPod, handphone, computer and internet.

14. I have a blog where I can tell my stories and thoughts every time I want to.

15. I have enough money to eat and buy some things that I want.

16. I'm studying in a good catholic university in the right major, and I love it so much.

17. I have good friends and environment in the university and I learn so many things from them.

18. I have experienced some love stories in my life, and though they ended unhappily, but they teach me a lot of things in life and they make me stronger.

19. I have a lot of leisure time to hang out with my friends or just to have "me times".

20. I have a lot of chance to attend the holy mass, either in the workdays or weekends.

21. I have complete parts of the body, and they are well functioned.

22. I have some music instruments at home, something to play when I get bored.

23. I still can breathe the air everyday, and see the sun rises every time I wake up in the morning.

24. I can read The Bible freely every time I want while people in many parts of the world cant.

25. I have good achievements at school and university, and these all just because of Him.

26. I have enough clothes to be worn.

27. I have so many friends to share my laughter and tears.

28. I have a hardworking father who works hard and never gives up to support the family.

29. I have a caring mother who cooks almost everyday for the family.

30. I have loyal maids who help my family taking care of our house.

31. I and my family are healthy enough.

32. I have never been hospitalized. Well, actually I ever had, but it was when I was a little and it wasn't a serious illness.

33. I have a good enough physical appearance.

34. I have a bright future, or at least, I wish I had.

35. I have some big dreams that motivate me and make my life alive.

36. I have a good job as an English teacher and I love it so much.

37. I teach 44 challenging students with different personalities and they are so lovable. They teach me a lot how to be patient.

I thank You a lot for every single thing that I have in my life, Lord..
They are PERFECT! (",)

thank You. thank You. thank You :)