The Scrapbook of My Life

2012-01-28T21:02:00.000+07:00

God, I surrender everything in Your hands..

I know there are lots of things I'm worrying about,

lots of things I wanna complain about.

But I just want to put it all in Your mighty hands

and let You take care of all my worries.

Please give me the strength and ability

to give my best on my defense day

so I can pass it well, with a good grade.

Amen.

2012-01-26T11:00:00.002+07:00

- " HAPPY 1st anniv :)" -

Hey isn't it 26 January 2012?
It means that me and Kevin have spent our first year in love together!! :) :)
Wew.. Time flies really really fast.
I still remember clearly 365 days ago when he picked me up at the English course where I worked and took me home.. We had our dinner together and finally he told me about his feelings towards me and asked me to be his girlfriend with a lovely white rose in his hand.. :)
That was so sweet. I was speechless at that time but then I finally answered "YES" and he held my hands :")
Since that time, we're dating.
Sharing love, laugh, and tears together every single day.
Supporting, helping and caring each other. <3

I can't imagine what would my days be without him loving me. He has brought a whole amazing year for me and it could never be replaceable with anything.. That special feeling every time he stares at me or holds my hands or just simply says "I LOVE YOU" has given me extra strength each day :)

The feeling I have towards him now has even grown more and more since the 1st time I fell in love with him. I really can't deny it. <3

I LOVE HIM MUCH DEEPER THAN I DID A YEAR AGO..

AND I'M GOING TO LET THIS FEELING GROW MORE AND MORE EVERY SINGLE DAY,

THROUGH THE YEARS AHEAD.. <3

A one year old lovely white rose now :)

Thanks for giving me 365 lovely days :)

HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY, dear! <3

2012-01-06T21:31:00.001+07:00

- "happy BELATED new year!" -

Hi guys,
I'm really really sorry for haven't posted anything this quite long time because I've been so busy with my Scientific Writing (SW) :(
I've been so tired dealing with my SW every single day, even thinking about it every MINUTE, and I can't find my mood to write anything on my blog yet.. Huff. Really sorry about it T.T
Actually there are TONS OF THINGS that I want to share with you, guys.. But I really can't find the right time and mood to write it down on my blog :(
But I promise that I'll post more and more blogs right after I finish my SW! :D
Can't wait to share to you about my little reflection of 2011, how I spent my X'Mas and New Year, my resolutions for 2012, my results of the last semester, what happened to my SW, etc!! Quite a lot of "untold" stories, eh?! haha..
I do really miss those quality "blogging" time :')
Please keep checking out my blog and give some comments ok ^^

Anyway, last but not least, I want to say:

Wish you a super great year ahead!
More blessing. More love. More success. More patient. More luck.
Amennn ^^

Missing you a lot,

XOXO

- Astrid Marcella -

2011-12-27T20:38:00.000+07:00

Sometimes I wonder..

How could someone be so perfect

that makes other people jealous?

2011-12-26T17:24:00.004+07:00

Happy 11 months my dearest
KEVIN OARTO! :D

Although we can't spend our 1st Christmas together
this year,

but I know that I'm blessed enough
for having you in my life :)

What else should I complain about?

I'm SUPER BLESSED :')

I DO love you so muchh dear ^^

Let's spend our New Years Eve together
happily and unforgettably! (",)

Miss you dear :*

2011-12-10T09:41:00.000+07:00

The minute you thinking of giving up,

think of the reason why you held on for so long.. :")

I will never give up!

Bless my Scientific Writing, oh Lord.. :")

2011-11-25T22:34:00.004+07:00

- " our 10th." -

Within these 2 days, I have been falling in love with a song, as how I've always been falling in love with Kevin more every single day we pass together :)

I hardly believe that it has been 10 months since that lovely day when we started our relationship.. I'm thankful for every moments, every laughter and tears that we've been through together :)

This is the song that he gave to me several days ago.. And soon I fall in love with this song.. ^^

A THOUSAND YEARS

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

Watching you stand alone

All of my doubt

suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anyone take away

what's standing in front of me

Every breath, every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

All along I believed

I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more..

Yes, time has brought your heart to me..

Darling don't be afraid, I'll love you for a thousand more :)

Happy 10 dear!! :D

Love you, Kevin!

2011-11-13T20:24:00.004+07:00

Guys, mulai sekarang Cella Belle juga menyediakan

kosmetik2 USA, seperti:

Smashbox

Benefit

Stila

Too Faced

Clinique

MAC

Bobbi Brown

Maybelline

Make Up For Ever

L'oreal

Urban Decay

and lots of other brands of cosmetic products

Dan semuanya READY STOCK!!

Jadi kalian ga perlu nunggu PO terlalu lama hehe..

Untuk lebih jelasnya produk apa aja yang ready stock, please check out album2 di FB Cella Belle yahh :) Stock nya terbatas lhoo.. So grab it soon ok!

First pay, first sell hehe..

Thanks all :*

2011-11-10T21:04:00.001+07:00

Jangan membandingkan dengan yang dimiliki orang lain.

Di luar sana, sekian banyak orang berharap memiliki hidup sepertimu.

Bersyukur selalu :)

2011-10-30T23:32:00.004+07:00

Grand Launching

CELLA BELLE COSMETICS SHOP!

A trusted original cosmetics shop is humbly launched to public

today, 30th of October 2011 on Facebook.

Cella Belle Shop is a genuine cosmetic online shop who sells some
ORIGINAL BRANDED COSMETICS
such as NYX, Wet n Wild, Face Shop, Etude and Skin Food
with LOW PRICE (much lower than the products sold at the counters)
and HIGH QUALITY!

Please simply add Cella Belle on Facebook :)

Here's the link:

Cella Belle Cosmetics Shop

Adding our Facebook profile and giving friend suggestions
will be so much appreciated :)

For further information and order,

you can contact Cella Belle at 081806233232.

Never stop beautifying yourself from inside and outside!

Happy shopping! ^.^

2011-10-28T14:19:00.003+07:00

- "my TEACHING Practicum." -

I've finally finished my teaching practicum (PPL) at SMA St. Theresia :D

There were really LOTS of tears and laughter during all the preparation and the teaching practicum itself.. My first teaching was on Wednesday, 19th of August 2011.. Oh God, I was super nervous at that time! I even got a stomachache right a day before my first teaching bcos I was too nervous and afraid. Guess what, I couldn't even laugh a bit at that time haha -.-"

I'm gonna share to you some simple highlights and reflections of every teaching that I've done.. Enjoy! :)

1st teaching (Wednesday, 19 August 2011)
Class: X-3
Skill: Reading (Narrative Text)
Well.. It was one of my worst preparation of teaching, I guess. I planned to teach by using some power point slides bcos actually the school has provided a projector in each of the class. I prepared the slides very well and designed them to be as interesting for the students as I could. But unfortunately an incident happened at the class. The projector didn't work. It couldn't be connected to my laptop. Wew.. I was panic and it wasted almost 15 minutes of my teaching time, which the total time was ONLY 45 minutes!! Grrr. At last the projector still didn't work so I had to explain the materials by writing them on the whiteboard in a rush of time! (can you imagine how long did it take to write almost all the materials on the whiteboard?) Geezzz.. &*#$@!
Yeah, it was terrible. *deep sigh*

2nd teaching (Wednesday, 7 September 2011)
Class: XII IPA 2
Skill: Writing (Explanation Text)
Haha.. This is the most SILENT class I've ever taught! Can't you imagine teaching a skill of writing at 7 a.m. with SUPER PASSIVE students that refused to answer anything I asked?? It was really EXHAUSTING, you know. I got out of the class with a lost voice bcos I had to talk a lot n loudly but almost nobody answered my questions. It drove me crazyyyyyyy!! Erghh.

3rd teaching (Monday, 12 September 2011)
Class: XII IPS 1
Skill: Listening (Report Text)
A contrast from my 2nd class that I taught, this class was very messy and the students were talkactive and quite naughty. Maybe it was bcos I taught them at the listening laboratorium, not at their own class, so they might feel that the lesson was not too important.. They came late and slowly to the lab and when they all have gathered there, they kept making fun and telling jokes to each other. I faced some difficulties to control that class, really. But it's okay, they made the class became lively and quite fun haha.. I thought it's better to have a super active class rather than a super passive class, indeed.

4th teaching (Friday, 16 September 2011)
Class: X-4
Skill: Speaking (Narrative Text)
The teaching was not bad.. The students were generally okay. What made it hard was I taught them 12.00, which was very hot and the students' were lazy and tired already haha.. But I was glad bcos there were some active students who were cooperative (I still remember exactly their names and faces) and they made everything much easier for me :)

5th teaching (Wednesday, 21 September 2011)
Class: XI IPS 3
Skill: Speaking (Report Text)
THIS IS MY BEST CLASS EVER! Haha.. They students were very very cooperative and nice! Though a few of them didn't pay much attention to my teaching and kept chitchatting at the back of the class, but the other rest of the class gave their full attention and participation to me :)
They were so active in answering what I asked to them and they seemed so enthusiastic! Some of them were even quickly raised their hands when I asked them to perform their tasks in front of the class.. My teaching also went very smoothly and I enjoyed it very much ^^
I really really really love XI IPS 3!! Thanks my dear students, for giving me the best class I've ever taught.. Gonna always remember you all! :)

6th teaching (Wednesday, 12 October 2011)
Class: XII IPS 3
Skill: Writing (Discussion Text)

We took this pic at Mam Awied's room
when we were consulting the LP for our 6th teaching

Hmm.. I didn't really enjoy teaching this class bcos this class was similar to XII IPA 2 which I taught on my 2nd teaching.. A passive class. But this class was just a little bit better bcos the students were still involved in the brainstorming activity. The hardest part was when I assigned them to do the exercise, most of them didn't do it seriously. Some of them were talking to each other, making some jokes, even a student fell asleep and another student was daydreaming. Perfect, right?! Hahaha.. :P
Maybe the topic of the material was quite hard so they were not too interested. Huff.

7th teaching (Wednesday, 19 October 2011)
Class: XI IPA 1
Skill: Reading (Exposition Text: Analytical and Hortatory)

Me and my last Lesson Plan for this class!

It was my last teaching and my observation day. My lecturer from Atma Jaya also came with us to the school to observed my and my friends' teaching at class. The observation score will be counted as my final exam score for the teaching practicum subject. It made me feel nervous again. But I really tried to give my best teaching. Luckily, my class was nice and cooperative enough. Some of them often answered my questions actively and they seemed quite enthusiastic. It was not as bad as what I imagined before.. :)

Thanks God I've finally done my long and tiring journey of teaching practicum. Yet it was so unforgettable. A week has just passed by, but I miss the students and English teachers at SMA St. Theresia already :')

Thanks for the strength I got from my Jesus Christ :)
And all the support and prayers from my family, my best friends, and my lovely Kevin :)
Without you all I might not be strong enough to do this exhausting teaching practicum.. A bunch of thanks to you guys! I love you! (",)

Last Wednesday me and my friends went back to SMA St. Theresia to say thanks to the teachers and gave them some certificates and gifts. We also took some pictures there ^^

Here it is.. SMA St. Theresia ^^

With our beloved lecturer and English teachers

In front of the Goa Maria

At the canteen :)

Our little "aquarium" :P

Our memorable bangku kayu

We had a little celebration at GI :)

So this is it.. Our dream that comes true! :')

Last pic taken there in front of the gate

Good bye SMA St. Theresia.. Thanks for every precious experiences and moments with you.. Gonna miss you soon! :)

2011-10-06T22:37:00.004+07:00

- "Mermaid vs Whales." -

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)
Last comment: I'm not putting down thin people, being a thin woman myself (BMI of 22 maybe?)
Just saying that being large doesn't equate to being unattractive.

(Source:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2545702681966&set=a.2545702521962.2154719.1235752135&type=1&ref=nf)

2011-10-06T20:51:00.001+07:00

Happy Birthday, dear!! :D

Welcome to the legal age..

Welcome to a maturity ^^

Be a better person

and

always keep being MY BEST!! (",)

Love you so muchhh dearr :)

2011-09-26T19:51:00.001+07:00

Happy 8 lovely months honeyy!! ^^

Yes,

you are something special

in my heart,

in my life,

in my world.. :)

I will always love you, like I always do :*

2011-09-23T22:20:00.013+07:00

- "God, why do I..?" -

I kept on asking God why do I have small monolid eyes,

until I saw a blind little girl..

Then I thanked God for my small eyes..

I kept on asking God why do I have a flat nose,

until I saw a man with a big tumor in his nose..

Then I thanked God for my flat nose..

I kept on asking God why do I mostly have to go to campus by public transportation,

until I saw a woman who had to walk for miles carrying her children with bare feet..

Then I thanked God for those public transportation..

I kept on asking God why do I have a short body,

until I saw a child with no arms and legs..

Then I thanked God for my short body..

I kept on asking God why can't I travel all around the world just like what my friends did,

until I saw a poor old man who had never traveled further than his own town in his life..

Then I thanked God for my condition..

I kept on asking God why do I have to work quite hard even before I graduate from university just to fulfill my own daily needs,

until I saw hundreds of jobless people applying for jobs everyday
and being rejected..

Then I thanked God for my job..

Through the people around me, God has taught me how to be grateful for all the way I am.. :')

Now I've learnt that jealousy won't change any of my own condition,

instead it will only make everything worse coz it will simply take the peace and happiness in my heart away..

Now I've learnt that there's no perfect life in this world,

everybody has their own problems, regrets and failures behind all their laughter..

Now I've learnt that by keeping grateful and counting my own blessings,

it will make my life even brighter and more delightful :)

because..

Jealousy is counting someone's else blessings
instead of your own.

2011-09-22T21:30:00.002+07:00

- "my 5th teaching.." -

a super cute rabbit :)

See a cute picture of a rabbit above? ^^
I showed this picture to one of my class at St. Theresia high school in my 5th teaching practice a couple days ago.. I used this picture to brainstorm what ideas come to the students' mind when they hear or see a picture of rabbit..

At the very first some students shouted, "SATAY, miss!!" and the rest of the class laughed, including me haha.. I just answered, "Hey don't make it a portion of satay! It's too cute to be cooked.. hahaha.."

Then some other students said, "BUGS BUNNY".. That answer was logical so I wrote it on the whiteboard. Another student answered, "CARROT, miss!" That was also a good answer.

Until one of the students shouted loudly, "PLAYBOY, miss!! Playboy bunny!!", and soon his friend added, "HUGH HEFNER, miss!!" The whole class burst into laugh hahaha :))

So.. Can you imagine how naughty my students were? wkwk :P
But I love teaching them.. They have given me an unforgettable teaching experience :)
I love XI IPS 3!! :*

2011-09-21T23:07:00.000+07:00

Being with you is like a fairy tale comes true :)

2011-09-15T16:08:00.002+07:00

"If you really want something,

really work hard,

take advantage of opportunities,

and never give up,

YOU WILL FIND A WAY."

- Jane Goodall -

2011-09-15T16:01:00.001+07:00

- "To be graduated within 3.5 years, you have to believe that you CAN and you WILL!" -

I WILL, for sure!! :D

2011-09-01T23:32:00.000+07:00

- "new EMAIL address." -

Guys,
I'm changing my email address from monyetminumbir@yahoo.com into astrid.marcella@yahoo.com since now and then..
Actually I have been using my stupid-yet-unique address of email "monyetminumbir" for the past 7 years and it's been one of my 1st emails that I have haha.. I DO love that email address though some people don't and think that I'm a bit crazy :P
Well.. At least it's a memorable address of an email, right? ^^

I made my first NORMAL email address, "astrid.marcella", at the first time I entered the university. At that time one of my lecturers asked my email to send some assignments, I was ashamed to tell her that my email was "monyetminumbir", so I created a new normal email address then haha :P
I planned to use my old email to operate some of the social networks such as FB, twitter, blog, skype, etc. and use my new email for sending and receiving any kinds of assignments or emails related to the university or any other formal institutional works. But unfortunately, I came back again using my old one coz actually I'm a kinda person that doesn't like using 2 emails at the same time. At the end, I will only activate one of them which I use the most.. Haha..

Well.. I think it's time for me to use a better and more "professional" email address than the "monyetminumbir" one.. I'm doing my Scientific Writing this semester and my advisor prefers to send everything about my SW through my second "normal" email.. So I have no other choice, as what I've told before, I would rather use one active email only. So I think it's better for me to start moving to my second email, changing my social networks emails into "astrid.marcella@yahoo.com" and leaving my old unique one :')

Hihi I'm a bit sad knowing that I'm not gonna use my unique email address anymore coz that email has given me a lot of memories for the past 7 years.. I've sent and received so many assignments, notes, reflections, stories, reminders, letters from my relatives and friends, and even spams and junks ^^
And it's been like an "identity" for me every time anybody asks me about what my email address is :)

But yeah I know I can't use that email forever though. Sooner or later I have to change my email with a more proper address regarding to my professionalism and increasing age..

So guys, from now on, please kindly change my email address into
astrid.marcella@yahoo.com :)

I'll activate it and this email is ready to do its job for me! :D

Good bye my memorable "monyetminumbir@yahoo.com".. Thanks for helping me in the past 7 years :)

2011-09-01T22:06:00.000+07:00

Wanna go back to my childhood years..

When there was just me,

a bottle of milk

and my favorite doll in my arms for the whole days.

No homework.

No exams.

No responsibilities!

HAHA :P

2011-08-26T22:30:00.001+07:00

Hey happy 7 sweet months dear :)

Time flies so fast!

Love you even more each day ^^

Bigggg hugggssss for my dearest :*

2011-08-14T11:05:00.002+07:00

- "Ya.. Ya.. Ya.." -

Percakapan di kantin SMA St. Theresia kemarin siang.

Keterangan:
(A) = Astrid
(O) = Om2 penjual bento di kantin SMA St. Theresia

A: "Om, beli paket ayam teriyakinya satu yah.."
O: "Sip.. Makan di sini?"
A: "Iya makan di sini, Om."

*Sembari mempersiapkan sepiring nasi teriyaki, percakapan berlanjut..*

O: "Kamu murid di sini?" (mungkin si Om bingung karna gw ga pake seragam sekolah)
A: "Oh engga, Om.. Saya lagi mau kerja praktek ngajar di sini.."
O: "Hah? Ngajar??" (dengan intonasi tinggi yang engga nyantai)
A: "Iya, Om.. Ngajar.. Saya dari Atma Jaya."
O: "Hoo.. Atma Jaya.. Ngajar apa?"
A: "Ngajar bahasa Inggris, Om.."
O: "Wuihhh hebat ngajar bahasa Inggris.. Ngajar di SD nya sini kan??"
A: "Engga, Om.. Saya ngajar di SMA nya.."
O: "HAHHH???! Ngajarnya yang di SMA??! (intonasi semakin gak santai)
A: "Hehe.. Iya di SMAnya, Om.."
O: "Wahh.. KOK MASIH MUDA BANGET YAH KAMU??!" (dengan muka gak santai juga)
A: "Hehe.. Iya, Om.." (tertawa getir dan menjawab dengan pasrah)
Dalam hati gw.. "Bilang aja bukan masih muda, tapi maksudnya masih KECIL kan, Om?!"

*doenngggggggg* hahaha..
haduhhh.. b-a-g-a-i-m-a-n-a nasib sayaaaa iniiiiii?? -.-"

2011-08-11T20:57:00.000+07:00

My 7th semester finally begins.

Hopefully it's gonna be my last semester in university..

God bless me! *amennn* :)

2011-07-26T02:44:00.002+07:00

HAPPY SIX LOVELY MONTHS

my dearest KEVIN!! :D

From the 1st time we started this lovely relationship,

you've always been my SWEETEST DEAR ever! ^^

I'm gonna loving you every single day 'till the day I close my eyes forever.. (",)

2011-07-26T02:37:00.002+07:00

- "My 21 on 21st." -

21st of July 2011 has been one of the most unforgettable special days for me (",)
I had my 21st birthday surrounded by the people whom I love so much for the whole day and they really made my day great and precious :D

In the morning I wake up with no special feeling.. I thought that it would be just like an ordinary day.. Actually that morning I wasn't in a good mood to celebrate my bday coz I've just had a fight with my mom the night before.. So without having any spirit I woke up and found so many bday greetings and wishes sent by my friends and relatives to my BB.. Then I had my breakfast alone downstairs and still.. Nothing special that could boost my mood up and be more cheerful.. I got to my room and browsed some websites just by myself..

Until suddenly my very best friend and her boy appeared in front of my house bringing a bday cake and a present for me!! Wew I was so surprised to see them waiting in front of my gate, so I changed my cloth and rushed quickly downstairs to see them ^^
Then we took some pics together in my living room, just like what we usually do from year to year :)

*me and the bday cake from her*

*my BFF's boy, me, and my very best friend*

Their surprising presence has boosted up my mood and made me feel more cheerful at that time..

Hey really thanks for the special surprise to both of you, Ria and Hartono :)

Thanks for willingly being stucked in a bad traffic jam on your way to my house.. You guys had successfully cheered me up!! :D

In the afternoon my lovely boyfriend, Kevin, picked me up to his home.. Surprisingly his mom gave me a bday present right when I've just reached his home.. I was so surprised coz I had never expected it :')

Then the surprised hasn't been over yet, not long after that my boy asked me to come downstairs and he closed my eyes with his hand.. And when I opened my eyes, his sister was standing in front of me and holding a bday cake with candles on the top of it ^^

*slicing the cake*

A big bite of cake for my Honey! ^^

*L.O.V.E*

*me and his sister :)*

I was so happy at that time and I was speechless for all these sweet things that my boy and his family has given to me :")

A bunch of thanks for the sweet surprises dear Kevin, Angel, and Kevin's mom! (",)

In the evening, Kevin joined the bday dinner with my family :)

Before going to the restaurant, we ate fried noodle and took a family picture together..

Hey.. This is my first time in my whole life that I can spend my birthday with the presence of a BOYFRIEND :')

From year to year I always spent my bday with my bestiest and family, but this year God has made it more complete by the presence of Kevin (",)

Thanks God for finally letting me had a complete special bday ^^

My joy and gladness hasn't been over yet.. On Saturday, 23rd of July 2011, I had a simple but cheerful bday lunch with my bestiest at Sushi Grill, Meruya :)

Sulis and Juju gave me another bday cake and present there ^^

*they gave me another present :D*

*and another bday cake..*

*with love :)*

*you guys are irreplaceable bestiest! (",)*

Thank you for coming and accompanying me to start my 21st year in my life, guys! =)

Finally.. A birthday surrounded by my complete lovely ones! (",)

A kind of bday that I've always been praying and longing for through so many years.. :')

Each of your presence really completes all the pieces of puzzle of my life.. Without any each of you, my puzzle would be incomplete again.. So please stay in my life n my heart forever, going through years together coz I do really love you all so much =)

Thank You, Jesus, for giving each of them in my life..

I'd be forever grateful.. :D

2011-07-26T01:15:00.002+07:00

- "In my 20th.." -

It's been July 26..
I planned to write a reflection on my birthday eve, but unfortunately I wasn't able to write it at that time for several reasons.. So today I decided to write a little reflection of a year that I had just passed behind through this posting.. :)

I just want to lift up all my gratitude to Jesus Christ, my Lord, for He has given me a beautiful life for these past 20 years in my life.. :')
Looking back to a year ago, I began my 20th with a prayer and so many wishes in my heart.. There were lots of things happened in the past 1 year, not only the good things but also some bad things.. But I never regret everything coz I know that even every single experience teaches me to be who I am now ^^

In my 20th..
I enthusiastically learnt how to drive..
Though I failed and still unable to drive now, but it's been a great experience for me sitting in the driver's seat :P

In my 20th..
I often spent my leisure time cooking some meals and trying some new recipes from the internet or magazines..
Though sometimes my cooking wasn't too delicious, but I still do love cooking! (",)

In my 20th..
I fell in love with a boy and started a relationship with him..
Though I chose a wrong relationship and it ended painfully, but it made me stronger and wiser now :)

In my 20th..
I became a singer in Worship Night 2011 "Shout to the Lord!"..
Though I had to attend so many rehearsals and they were highly tiring, but I was so grateful coz He gave me a chance to serve Him in that kind of big event for the last time.. :')

In my 20th...
My best friend, Ria Wulandari, had her 20th bday..
I gave her a special scrapbox which I made so carefully and full-heartedly ^^

In my 20th..
I finally found my true love..
Finally God answers my and my best friend's prayers that He sent me a man who truly loves me and always takes care of me with all of his heart :')

Thanks for everything that I've been through in my 20th, God..
YOUR blessings for me are indescribably countless.. They are just too many and overwhelming :')
No other words that I can say except "THANK YOU" for all Your guidance, blessings, and love that You've given to me through the lovely people around me in every single day (",)

Just.. THANK YOU so much, Jesus :')

2011-07-14T14:38:00.001+07:00

- "Thank GOD." -

Hey I really thank GOD coz I've passed the 6th semester in my study, one of the hardest and most challenging semesters! :)

Though my GPA really drops down, but I've tried to give my best and I wanna keep being thankful to God for HIS guidance through this tough semester.. At least I was succeeded in passing 2 deathly classes of Pak Marcell, one of the most famous "killing" senior lecturers, who was very demanding towards his students. Besides, I've also passed Yohe's class of drama, one of the most frightening classes ever with an A score in hand :)
Thanks, Jesus. I know that I can't do it without You giving me the strength and ability.. ^^

Now I'm entering a new semester which I wish would be my last semester in this university.. Excited? Yaph. But with a bit of fright and worry whether I could handle doing my Scientific Writing (SW) along with the Teaching Practicum at Secondary High School (PPL) together and finish them within approximately less than 6 months or not.. I know that it wouldn't be easy, but I believe if I start it with God, He will guide and bless me until I can finish it on time :)

Dear God,
one thing that I've always been longing for is making the results of my study to glorify Your name and bringing happiness to my parents :')
I know that You'll always hold my hands till the end to help me reaching that dream :')

2011-06-26T00:38:00.001+07:00

Heyy..

Happy 5 sweet months dear!!

Thanks for always making my days beautiful and wonderful ^^

Never knew how would my life be without you by my side :')

Love you honey :*

2011-06-24T22:08:00.001+07:00

- "THANKS GOD I've found YOU." -

I would give up everything

before I'd separate myself from

After so much suffering

I've finally found unvarnished truth

I was all by myself for the longest time

So cold inside

And the hurt from the heart it would not subside

I felt like dying until you saved my life

Thanks God I've found you

I was lost without you

My every wish and every dream

somehow became reality

When you brought the sunlight

completed my life

I'm overwhelmed with gratitude

coz baby I'm so thankful I've found you

I would give you everything

There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

To ensure your happiness

I'll cherish every part of you

Coz without you beside me I can't survive

don't wanna try

If you're keeping me warm each and every night

I'll be alright

Coz I need you in my life

See I was so desolate

Before you came to me

Looking back

I guess we were destined to shine

after the rain to appreciate

the gift of what we have

And I'd go through it all over again

To be able to feel this way

I never forget to keep thanking God

for He has lead me to find you.. :')

2011-06-22T18:40:00.001+07:00

One last month for being "ILLEGAL"! :P

2011-06-18T20:42:00.005+07:00

- "a HECTIC week." -

Pfiuhh.. This week has been one of the most hectic weeks in this semester.. I've got 4 final papers to be finished and 1 deadly sitting exam of Language Testing within approximately 2 weeks! -.-"

Here they are:

1. Seminar -> at least 20 pages

2. Language Testing -> at least 40 pages

3. Drama -> at least 4000 words (around 8-10 pages)

4. Etika Profesi -> at least 15 pages

Thanks God I've finished the Seminar and Language Testing papers and I've submitted them yesterday though I had to have a sleepless night and slept only for 2 hours yesterday hehe :P

Now only 2 papers left, the individual ones which should be submitted next week.. I'm gonna give my best efforts!! Really wish that I could pass all the subjects I take with good grades :) Amiinnnn ^^

Pray for me.. ;)

S.E.M.A.N.G.A.T Astrid Marcella!! (",)

2011-06-08T20:42:00.003+07:00

So I say a little prayer

and

hope my dreams will take me there.. (",)

2011-06-01T23:05:00.005+07:00

- "if a man TRULY loves you.." -

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan memanjakanmu seperti anak kecil,
bahkan dia sendiri tidak tau alasan memanjakanmu seperti itu.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan senantiasa membuatmu senang,
sebab dia tidak akan membiarkanmu meneteskan air mata.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan menangis untukmu
tanpa tau mengapa dia dapat begitu lemah di depanmu.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan mengaktifkan HP 24 jam untukmu,
sebab dia mau kapan dan dimana saja kamu bisa menemukan dirinya.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan menganggapmu paling baik
dan tidak akan membandingkanmu dengan wanita lain.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan selalu menemanimu
walaupun dia sedang sibuk.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia tidak akan setuju kamu diet
sebab kesehatanmu menjadi prioritas utama baginya.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia sangat ingin hidup bersamamu
dan menghabiskan hari-harinya hanya bersamamu
sebab kamu menjadi bagian terpenting dalam hidupnya.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan mencium keningmu dengan penuh kasih sayang
dan bukan dengan nafsu.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan menyimpan segala sesuatu tentangmu di HP nya
dan akan tertawa bodoh sendiri ketika melihatnya.

Jika seorang pria benar-benar mencintaimu,
dia akan dengan sabar mendengar curhatmu saat kau sedang sedih
sebab dia tak ingin membuatmu merasa sendiri.

2011-06-01T21:54:00.004+07:00

Have I ever been a priority in your life? :')

2011-05-28T20:53:00.001+07:00

I should not put too much expectations..

People are right, "Things do really change."

Nothing stays forever coz even the sweetest chocolate expires..

2011-05-26T18:08:00.003+07:00

Thank You, God, for fulfilling my every single need.. (",)

2011-05-26T18:07:00.003+07:00

Thanks God for our 4! :)

2011-05-21T20:22:00.002+07:00

Sometimes I think men should experience the pain of women's period time once in their lifetime so they would appreciate women better.. :P

2011-05-20T21:51:00.006+07:00

- "God Whispers." -

Well I'm a bit shock when I read today's "GodWhispers" on my email.. It was only less than 24 hours ago when I felt disappointed and sad knowing that maybe I have no chance to continue my study overseas, mostly because of my family's financial problem.. And when I read my email just now, I received "GodWhispers" saying these encouraging words:

Dear Astrid,
I've made a giant storehouse overflowing with every conceivable blessing you need, including all the financial resources you would ever need for all the dreams I have placed in your heart. The key of My storehouse is in your pocket. Gave it to you a long time ago. So when will you drop by and get some stuff?

Waiting for you,
God.
P.S. I hope really soon, Astrid.

Hey, can you call it as a "coincidence"?
No, I don't believe that I read it coincidentally.
The content of this email really answers the most recent problem appears in my head in these last few days.. And I believe that God really wants to say these to me, as the answer of my prayer :')
I call this "FAITH."

Thanks for the answer, God..
Please show me the way to Your storehouse then ^^
Let me walk by FAITH and not by sight! (",)

2011-05-19T21:51:00.003+07:00

Dear God,
you always say that with You nothing is impossible..
Does it include studying overseas for me? :')

2011-05-18T21:36:00.007+07:00

- "TAKKAN terganti." -

"Meski waktu datang dan berlalu sampai kau tiada bertahan
Semua takkan mampu mengubahku
Hanyalah kau yang ada di relungku
Hanyalah dirimu mampu membuatku jatuh dan mencinta
Kau bukan hanya sekedar indah, kau tak akan terganti.."

You're irreplaceable, Kevin Oarto =)

2011-05-14T19:42:00.001+07:00

Maybe we should know each other better..

2011-05-14T10:51:00.014+07:00

- "HE provides what's BEST." -

Beberapa hari yang lalu aku menemukan sebuah video di Facebook.. Video ini menceritakan tentang seorang anak laki-laki yang berhati mulia, yang menyumbangkan organ-organ tubuhnya untuk penelitian di Universitas setelah kematiannya, agar banyak nyawa orang lain bisa diselamatkan dari kanker dan tidak mengalami sakit yang sama seperti dirinya :')

Aku pernah membaca cerita ini melalui sebuah email beberapa bulan yang lalu, jadi aku tak lagi terlalu terkejut dengan jalan ceritanya.. Tersentuh, namun sudah tak lagi seperti ketika aku pertama kali membaca ceritanya dulu.. Tetapi kali ini aku lebih tersentuh lagi ketika mendengar lagu pengiring video ini.. Dengan susah payah aku berusaha menebak-nebak judul lagu ini dan mencarinya di internet untuk di download.. Akhirnya kutemukan lagu ini di 4Shared dengan judul "Tuhan Firman" ^^
Yang pasti, lagu ini sudah menguatkan dan mengingatkanku sekali lagi bahwa Tuhan yang kumiliki adalah Tuhan yang selalu menyediakan dan memberi yang terbaik bagi hidupku :)

Tuhan firman, "Mintalah."
Tuhan firman, "Jadilah."
Tuhan firman, "Ketuklah."
Tuhan janjikan jalan

S'bab tangan Tuhan selalu terbuka
bagi yang minta tolong
Tak akan Bapa memberikan ular
pada yang minta roti

Tuhan firman, "Mintalah."
Tuhan firman, "Jadilah."
Tuhan firman, "Ketuklah."
Tuhan janjikan jalan

S'bab tangan Tuhan selalu terbuka
bagi yang minta tolong
Tak akan Bapa memberi yang jahat
pada anak yang minta

Link to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HvrhABMXF4

Beberapa minggu terakhir ini, seringkali aku memikirkan akan masa depanku.. Jujur, terkadang aku merasa kuatir dan takut akan apa yang akan terjadi di masa depanku.. Aku sempat merasa bingung akan apa yang harus kulakukan setelah lulus kuliah nanti, harus bekerja dimana, harus menabung seberapa banyak, harus lanjut ke S2 atau langsung bekerja saja, kapan harus menikah, apa yang akan kukerjakan setelah menikah, dan banyak hal lainnya.. Mungkin sebagian orang menilai bahwa pemikiranku ini terlalu dini dan masih terlalu "jauh", tetapi bagi orang melankolis seperti aku, merencanakan masa depan dalam jangka panjang adalah sesuatu hal yang biasa dan memang penting untuk dilakukan..

Tetapi aku pun menyadari kesalahanku, karena aku belum sepenuhnya menyerahkan segala masa depanku ke dalam tanganNya.. Aku masih sibuk menyusun sendiri rencana-rencana masa depanku dengan pikiranku, tanpa banyak melibatkanNya dan bertanya apa yang sebenarnya menjadi kehendakNya dalam hidupku.. Aku masih kuatir apakah segala rencana itu akan berjalan dengan baik.. Aku masih cemas akan banyak hal. Tetapi lewat lagu ini aku kembali diingatkan untuk ke sekian kalinya agar tidak kuatir atas masa depanku, atas apapun yang akan kuhadapi di depan nanti.. Sekali lagi lagu ini meneguhkan bahwa Tuhan bukan hanya akan memberikan apa yang baik, namun yang TERBAIK bagi anakNya.. Bahwa ketika aku BERDOA dan MEMINTA akan masa depan yang baik padaNya, maka Dia sungguh akan memberikan yang terbaik sesuai rencanaNya, namun tentu saja tanpa lupa disertai dengan usaha yang maksimal.

*Dan hidupku ada di dalam pemeliharaan tanganNya yang sempurna :)*

Ya, aku sangat percaya bahwa Tuhan tak akan pernah memberikan ular pada yang minta roti..
Dan tak akan Bapa memberi yang jahat pada anak yang minta.. :)

2011-05-08T14:15:00.004+07:00

I love you, love you, and love you more than any other girls can do..
And no other men can love me better than you do :)

2011-05-05T22:05:00.004+07:00

- "Osama OH Osama.." -

In my class.

Me: "Do u know who's Osama bin Laden?"
Students: "No."

Then one of them suddenly said confidently:
"Owhh.. Yes I know him! He's president Obama's younger brother right?
He died last night.."

Me: ?%#$@!

2011-05-05T21:47:00.007+07:00

I found myself loving you more and more,
every single day.
Hey, I think I'm deeply in love with you..
You're the BEST thing that ever happens in my life :)

2011-05-02T21:57:00.000+07:00

You love me and I love you more.. :)

2011-05-01T00:54:00.002+07:00

Finally.. I decided to let those dreams go
to chase other more beautiful and realistic dreams.
Good bye, sweet dreams..
Thanks for being the biggest motivation for me through these last 3 years :')

2011-04-29T23:14:00.004+07:00

Millions of people around the world
are cheering and celebrating
"The Royal Wedding"
today..

But for me,
my "royal wedding" is going to be on the day
when you stand by my side in front of the altar
and say
"I promise.. Till death do us part."
and
"I do.."
:)

- inspired by Nory -

2011-04-26T00:09:00.001+07:00

Happy 3 sweet months dear my Koalaaaaa :)
So glad to have you in my life..
God must have loved me so much that He sent you for me :')
Love you honey :*
.GodBlessUs.

2011-04-25T20:04:00.003+07:00

I'm thinking about the time when we first met that night
when you first stared at me :)
It is such a lovely and sweet story (",)

2011-04-24T19:31:00.005+07:00

- "Happy EASTER 2011" -

Hey..
Happy Easter all!

Let's shout HALLELUJAH to the world for God has victoriously risen! ^^

2011-04-23T12:34:00.008+07:00

- "Thanks for YOUR BLOOD." -

Sukacitaku penuh, kubermazmur bagiMu
Karna kutau ku t'lah ditebus oleh curahan darahMu
Kumenari bagiMu, kumemuji namaMu
Karna kutau ku berkemenangan oleh curahan darahMu

DarahMu Yesus sucikan daku
DarahMu Yesus bebaskanku
DarahMu Yesus ubahkan daku
Kudijadikan baru..

Your blood has redeemed me..
Thank You for the cross, Jesus! :')

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son,
that whoever believes in Him shall not perish
but have eternal life."
- John 3:16 NIV -

2011-04-21T00:19:00.000+07:00

You can tell the size of your God
by looking at the size of your worry list.
The longer your list, the smaller your God.

2011-04-09T22:46:00.005+07:00

- "a JOYFUL servant's HEART." -

Kurang lebih satu bulan terakhir ini, aku merasa jenuh akan segala hal..
Kuliah. Pekerjaan. Dan bahkan pelayanan. Pada awalnya aku berpikir bahwa aku membutuhkan sedikit liburan. Namun ternyata setelah aku melakukan banyak refreshing pun, kejenuhan ini tidak juga pergi dariku..

Entah kenapa aku tetap tidak bersemangat mengerjakan tugas-tugas kuliah. Seringkali aku menunda-nunda untuk mengerjakannya dan belajar seadanya saja. Padahal dulu, aku adalah orang yang tidak pernah mau menunda pekerjaan, terutama tugas kuliah. Dulu, tanpa diminta pun aku dengan rajinnya akan menyicil bahan-bahan ujian jauh hari sebelum ujian diadakan.

Entah kenapa aku menjadi semakin tidak bersemangat untuk pergi mengajar seusai kuliah.. Rasa lelah dan ngantuk seringkali membuatku pergi mengajar dengan terpaksa.

Entah kenapa aku pun tidak lagi sepenuhnya merasa rindu untuk melayani di komunitasku.. Oke, aku tetap menjalani komitmenku untuk setia melayani di PD dan pembinaan mingguan, namun seringkali aku tidak datang dengan kerinduan. Aku datang hanya sekedar kewajiban dan terikat dengan komitmen. Mungkin dapat terhitung dengan sebelah tangan berapa kali aku melayani dengan sukacita dan kerinduan yang penuh di semester ini.

Jika boleh jujur, rasanya aku sangat malas sekali untuk datang ke pembinaan di hari Sabtu kemarin.. Pagi hari itu aku bangun dengan badan yang cukup lelah dan tanpa semangat. Aku ingin sekali bisa beristirahat seharian di rumah tanpa harus pergi kemana-mana. Aku bangun dan hal pertama yang terlintas di pikiranku saat itu adalah "Ya ampun harus ke kampus lagi hari ini cuma buat pembinaan.. Naik busway pulang pergi pula.. Huff." Maklum, komitmenku sebagai pengurus PD mengharuskanku untuk datang ke kampus setiap hari Rabu dan Sabtu, yang notabene keduanya adalah hari liburku semester ini. Yang berarti membuatku harus pergi ke kampus full dari hari Senin hingga Sabtu setiap minggunya.. Merasa lelah dan jenuh? Pasti.

Tetapi aku bersyukur karena ternyata kedatanganku ke kampus hari Sabtu kemarin tidak sia-sia.. Ci Veliska membagikan firman tentang "pelayanan" di pembinaan kemarin.. Mungkin materi-materi yang dibawakan oleh ci Vel sudah sering kudapatkan sebelumnya, namun aku bersyukur kalau aku diingatkan kembali akan banyak hal melalui firman kemarin..

Ada satu kalimat yang dikatakan oleh ci Vel "melayani harus disertai dengan hati yang bersukacita." Jegerrrrr! Satu kalimat sederhana itu terasa menampar hatiku. Aku langsung berpikir dan menginstrospeksi diri apakah selama ini aku telah melayani Dia dengan hati yang penuh sukacita dan ucapan syukur? Ataukah justru aku melayani Dia dengan segala keluhan dan keterpaksaan? Dan aku langsung menyadari bahwa aku lebih banyak melayani dengan keluhan daripada dengan sukacita.. Sejenak aku merasa bersalah dan malu pada Dia.

Setelah firman berakhir, pembinaan ditutup dengan doa dan lagu Tetap Setia.

Selidiki aku, lihat hatiku apakah ku sungguh mengasihiMu Yesus?
Kau yang Maha Tau dan menilai hidupku
Tak ada yang tersembunyi bagiMu

T'lah kulihat kebaikanMu yang tak pernah habis di hidupku
Kuberjuang sampai akhirnya Kau dapati aku tetap setia

Aku nyaris meneteskan air mata saat menyanyikan lagu ini.. Benar sekali kata-kata yang ada di lagu ini "T'lah kulihat kebaikanMu yang tak pernah habis di hidupku.." Aku sendiri merasakan dan menyaksikan dengan nyata kebaikan Tuhan yang sungguh tak pernah berhenti mengalir di dalam hidupku.. Dia Allah yang mencukupkan segala berkat-berkatnya bagiku, memberikan keluarga dan orang-orang yang kucintai di sekelilingku, memberikanku pekerjaan yang kusukai, memberikanku kuliah dan prestasi yang baik, menyediakan segala kebutuhan hidupku, dan masih ada begitu banyak berkat lainnya yang tak akan habis jika kusebutkan satu per satu.. :')
Aku jadi berpikir bahwa sudah begitu banyak berkat yang Dia berikan di dalam hidupku, masa untuk datang melayaniNya seminggu dua kali saja aku masih mengeluh? Rasanya apa yang aku lakukan untuk melayani Dia lewat komunitasku ini sama sekali tak sebanding bila dibandingkan dengan segala kebaikanNya dalam hidupku..

Di siang hari setelah pembinaan itu selesai, aku mengikuti latihan pujian untuk PD hari Rabu depan dengan penuh semangat dan sukacita yang baru. Kebetulan aku akan bertugas sebagai WL di PD mendatang, dan aku berjanji pada diriku sendiri bahwa aku akan melayani Dia dengan sepenuh hati dan mengucap syukur atas satu kesempatan lagi yang Dia berikan bagiku untuk melayaniNya.. Aku ingin memiliki hati seorang pelayan yang penuh dengan sukacita saat melayani Tuannya :)

Thank You for reminding me about how a servant's heart should be, Jesus (",)
I'm sorry for the unpleasant things that I've done to You..
Grant me a joyful and pure heart to serve You forever
and let Your Holy Spirit always be with me..
Let me be faithful to You 'till the end, Lord :')

.iLoveYou.

2011-03-28T22:16:00.007+07:00

- Someday.. :') -

Walaupun sudah berpuluh-puluh kali kuputar lagu theme song Crazy Little Thing Called Love yang berjudul "Someday" ini, tapi aku tak pernah merasa bosan mendengarnya.. Beberapa hari yang lalu aku iseng-iseng mencari video klipnya di YouTube dan aku menemukan video lagu ini dengan lirik terjemahan bahasa Inggris.. Kuperhatikan kata demi kata yang ada di lagu ini, sungguh menyentuh dan membuatku merasa sedih saat membayangkan cerita ini kembali :')

Setelah memperhatikan lirik lagu ini beberapa kali, aku tiba-tiba saja sadar bahwa cerita dalam lagu ini hampir sama dengan kisah cintaku.. Ya, sungguh mirip sekali dengan cerita panjang penantian pacarku, Kevin, selama satu tahun sampai pada akhirnya saat ini kami bisa bersama sebagai sepasang kekasih.. Saat menyadari itu aku hampir saja menitikkan air mata.. Air mata haru karena aku merasa bagaikan wanita yang paling beruntung bisa mendapatkan cinta seperti itu darinya. Air mata bahagia karena akhirnya Tuhan menjawab setiap doa dan kerinduanku. Serta air mata sedih karena aku merasa sangat bodoh telah sempat menyia-nyiakan Kevin dulu :')

I don’t know how much longer
That I have to put up with everything
I’ve been hiding all the truth inside my heart
Everytime we meet
Everytime you turn face to me
Though I look indifferent
Do you know how much i have to force myself?

Can you hear my heart calling for you, loving you?
But I can’t open my heart for anyone to know
Can you hear it?
My heart keeps waiting there for you
Waiting for you open it
and hope you will realize..
Someday

Though I love you
Though I feel
But deep down inside, I don’t dare to tell you
Everytime we meet
Everytime you turn face to me
Though I look indifferent
Do you know how much i have to force myself?

Can you hear my heart calling for you, loving you?
But I can’t open my heart for anyone to know
Can you hear it?
My heart keeps waiting there for you
Waiting for you open it
And I hope you will realize
That this person loves you
Please I hope you will know
Someday

Dear my honey bee,
thanks for everything..
Sometimes I feel so stupid for ever ignoring you in the past
and yet I feel so blessed for having you in my life now..
You make me feel just like I'm the most precious girl in the world :')

i l o v e y o u , a l w a y s . .

2011-03-26T23:28:00.000+07:00

Two engaged hearts :)

2011-03-18T20:38:00.001+07:00

God, should I let go off my dreams? :')

2011-03-10T21:27:00.004+07:00

- "Woman's PRAY." -

Lord, I pray for a man that will be a part of my life
A man that really loves You more than anything
A man that lives not for himself but for you
He must know for whom and what he lives, so his life isn't useless
Someone that has a wise heart not only a smart brain
A man that not only adores me, but can warn me when I'm wrong
A man that can be my best friend
A man that makes me feel like a woman when I'm beside him
I don't ask for a perfect man but I ask for an imperfect man
A man that needs my support, my love, my prayer for his life
Give me Your hands so I always be able to pray for him
Give me Your eyes, so I can see good things in him and not the bad one
Give me Your mouth that is filled with Your words of wisdom
so I can support him
And I want that finally both of us can say:
"How great Thou Art."
Amen.

2011-03-05T22:10:00.003+07:00

The day I stop loving you is the day I close my eyes forever.. :)

2011-03-03T21:08:00.005+07:00

- "I LIE everything DOWN to Your guidance.." -

Aku baru saja memasuki semester ke 6 dalam studi S1 ku di awal minggu ini.. Ya, baru saja kulewati semester pendek terakhirku satu minggu yang lalu..
Perasaanku begitu campur aduk.
Senang, karena akhirnya aku memasuki tahun terakhirku *amin* di kuliah ini..
Sedih, karena itu berarti waktuku untuk berada di kampus tercintaku ini semakin menipis :')
Takut, karena aku tau semester 6 ini bukanlah semester yang mudah.. Walaupun tinggal tersisa 4 mata kuliah yang dapat kuambil di semester ini, namun mata kuliahnya sangat menantang, terlebih lagi dosen2nya..
Tertantang, karena aku tau jika aku berhasil melewati semester ini dengan nilai yang memuaskan, maka rasa lega yang amat sangat akan menantiku..
Penasaran, akan ilmu apa saja yang akan kudapati di semester baru ini..

Kemarin dua nilai mata kuliah yang kuambil di semester pendek kemarin keluar.. Jujur aku cukup kecewa dengan nilai mata kuliah Research yang hanya B-. Aku merasa usaha yang telah kulakukan bagi kelas itu tidaklah sebanding dengan nilai yang kudapatkan. Aku sempat cukup merasa sedih dan down sejenak karena nilai B- di mata kuliah 3 sks ini telah menjatuhkan IPK ku.. Ya, benar2 sangat menjatuhkan IPK ku yang notabene dengan susah payah kujaga dan kutingkatkan semester demi semester sejak awal kuliahku.. Mimpiku untuk meraih gelar cum laude dan menerima cincin dari Atma Jaya di akhir studi membuatku selalu bersemangat dalam menjalani kuliahku.. Dan ketika kemarin aku menghitung IPK ku setelah nilai Research keluar, sungguh aku sempat merasa sangat sedih dan pesimis.. Tanpa sengaja aku meneteskan air mata :')

Terlebih lagi aku merasa down karena aku tau bahwa aku mungkin tak dapat banyak berharap akan mendapatkan IP yang tinggi di semester 6 ini.. Aku merasa peluang untuk menaikkan IP sangat kecil.. Memang, sangat kecil bukan berarti tidak ada harapan sama sekali. Harapan tetap ada, namun sungguh, aku tak berani menaruh harapan terlalu tinggi di semester ini karena aku takut aku akan sangat down jika tak dapat memenuhi mimpi dan harapan itu..

Tetapi satu hal, aku percaya bahwa tangan Tuhan akan tetap menyertaiku :)
Aku akan tetap berusaha untuk memberikan yang terbaik sampai akhir.. Aku percaya bahwa Ia akan memampukanku.. Dan apabila Ia mengijinkan aku meraih setiap mimpi2 yang Ia taruh di hatiku, maka Ia sendiri yang akan membukakan jalan.. Tidak ada yang mustahil bagi Dia..
Namun jika ternyata aku tak berhasil untuk menggapainya, maka aku akan tetap bersyukur.. Sebab aku tau bahwa ada suatu makna serta pembelajaran lain yang ingin Ia sampaikan bagiku dan pasti itulah yang terbaik untukku :')

Aku mau terus taruh segenap cita-cita, mimpi, dan usahaku ke dalam tangan penyertaanNya.. Sambil terus berusaha sebaik yang kumampu :)

2011-03-02T19:49:00.005+07:00

I believe that God will never put a dream in my heart
without giving me the ability to reach that dream..
I will never give up 'till the end, Lord..
Please keep guiding and helping me :')

When I lose my hope and feel so tired,
would You please hug me tightly
and remind me of all Your beautiful promises?
Thank You, Lord :')

2011-02-22T22:59:00.004+07:00

- "Imagine me WITHOUT you.." -

As long as stars shine down from heaven
and the rivers run into the sea
'Till the end of time forever
You're the only love I need

In my life you're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the only one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confuse
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord You know it's just impossible
Because of you it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
and you rushed to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confuse
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord You know it's just impossible
Because of you it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without you..

Thanks for making my life worthwhile :')

2011-02-16T14:06:00.001+07:00

Let nothing upset you, let nothing frighten you.
Everything is changing; God alone is changeless.
Patience attains the goal. Who has God lacks nothing;
God alone fills all our needs.
- St. Teresa of Avila -

2011-02-16T00:29:00.005+07:00

- "ready to LOVE." -

Seems I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognize my own reflection
Oh, scared of love but scared of life alone

Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me
Oh, but it's time for me to let it go

Yeah I'm ready to feel now
No longer I'm afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again

Just when we think that love will never find you
You've run away but it's still right behind you
Oh, it's just something that we can't control

Yeah I'm ready to feel now
No longer I'm afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again

So come and find me
I'll be waiting up for you
I'll be holding out for you tonight

Yeah I'm ready to feel now
No longer I'm afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end

I guess I'm ready
Ready to love again
I'm ready to love again

Yeah, I'm READY! (",)

2011-02-15T00:00:00.009+07:00

- "Valentine.." -

Love,
It's a special day
We should celebrate and appreciate
That you and me found something pretty neat
And I know some say this day is arbitrary

But it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

Love,
I don't need those things
I don't need no ring
I don't need anything
but you with me
'Cause in your company
I feel happy, oh so happy and complete

And it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

Yeah it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

So won't you be my honey bee?
Giving me kisses all the time
Be mine.. Be my valentine..

So won't you be my honey bee?
Giving me sweet kisses all the time
Be mine.. Be my valentine..

Happy Valentine, everyone!
Love is in the air :)
Have a lovely and unforgettable one! ;)

2011-02-05T21:47:00.001+07:00

People come and go..
Would you please just come and never go? :')

2011-02-02T23:43:00.002+07:00

There's NO perfect family.
There's NO perfect friendship.
There's NO perfect relationship.
There's NO perfect job.
There's NO perfect live.

There's only a perfect GOD who makes my life complete (",)

2011-02-01T19:31:00.002+07:00

Welcome February :)
Let it be a lovely and blessed month (",)

2011-01-30T12:58:00.012+07:00

- "YOU know BETTER than I." -

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here

So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing "I don't know"
Is part of getting through

I try to do what's best
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my trust in You

For You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught that bird to fly
If I let You reach me will You teach me?

For You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

Better than I by David Campbell:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzxpVGnWEWA

Secara gak sengaja aku menemukan lagu ini beberapa hari yang lalu ketika seorang temanku memposting lagu ini di profile FBnya.. Ketika pertama kali kudengar lagu ini dan memperhatikan setiap baris liriknya, aku sempat terdiam beberapa saat karena lagu ini benar-benar MENJAWAB beberapa pertanyaan di dalam hatiku saat itu secara langsung..

Ya, beberapa waktu terakhir ini seringkali terlintas di pikiranku pertanyaan-pertanyaan mengenai hidupku dan rencana Tuhan atasnya.. Jika boleh kubawa kembali ingatanku pada kejadian-kejadian yang menyakitkan dalam hidupku selama ini, terkadang hati kecilku gak pernah berhenti bertanya-tanya apa maksud dan tujuan Tuhan mengijinkan hal-hal tersebut terjadi dalam hidupku.. Aku tau dan selalu berpegang pada janjiNya bahwa "Sebab Aku ini mengetahui rancangan-rancangan apa yang ada padaKu mengenai kamu, demikianlah firman Tuhan, yaitu rancangan damai sejahtera dan bukan rancangan kecelakaan, untuk memberikan kepadamu hari depan yang penuh harapan." (Yeremia 29:11). Tetapi gak bisa dipungkiri bahwa aku hanyalah manusia biasa yang terkadang belum berhasil untuk menyingkirkan perasaan kecewa atas hal-hal yang terjadi dan ketakutan akan masa depan..

Setiap kali ada hal menyakitkan yang Dia ijinkan terjadi, aku hanya mampu berserah dan berusaha untuk terus percaya bahwa memang inilah yang terbaik bagiku..
Ketika masalah keluarga datang..
Ketika orang-orang yang berarti dalam hidupku pergi meninggalkanku..
Ketika orang-orang terdekatku menyakitiku..
Ketika semuanya berjalan tak seperti yang aku harapkan..
Rasa kecewa? Marah? Pasti kurasakan.
Hati ini sungguh bertanya-tanya akan maksud Tuhan mengijinkan semua ini terjadi..

Tetapi lagu ini kembali mengingatkanku agar terus tetap menaruh kepercayaan SEPENUHNYA kepadaNya, karena sungguh DIA YANG TAU SEGALANYA JAUH LEBIH BAIK DARIPADA AKU. Dia ingin aku benar-benar berserah sepenuhnya, tanpa mencoba bersandar sedikitpun pada pengertianku sendiri.. Dia ingin membuatku melihat bahwa Dia sungguh memperhatikan dan peduli akan setiap detail kehidupanku, dan aku tak perlu kuatir akan apapun sebab Dia yang memelihara aku..

Aku sangat bersyukur karena selama ini Dia terus menjawab setiap keraguan dalam hatiku satu per satu.. Perlahan-lahan aku mulai dapat melihat dan mengerti bahwa segala maksud dan rencanaNya adalah yang terbaik bagiku.. Aku mulai bisa memahami mengapa hal ini terjadi.. Mengapa hal itu terjadi.. Aku mulai bisa merasakan hikmahnya. Dia yang menunjukkan dan mengajarkan sendiri padaku lewat setiap peristiwa, lewat orang-orang di sekelilingku, serta lewat pengenalanku akan Dia..

Dan satu hal yang pasti, Dia bahkan selalu menyediakan LEBIH dari yang kuminta.
Dan pada akhirnya segala kekecewaanku digantikan dengan sukacita dan rasa syukur yang luar biasa :)

Aku mau terus menjadikan Dia sebagai nakhoda dalam hidupku dan mengijinkan Dia memegang kendali penuh atasnya.. Karena aku tau bahwa hanya Dialah yang tau segala yang terbaik bagiku dan Dia tak akan pernah mengecewakanku.. :)
Really thank God for I have a great God like HIM!

The best thing that I can do is to put my trust in You..
For YOU know better than I! (",)

2011-01-26T23:44:00.002+07:00

Maybe I'm the most blessed girl in the world now :)

2011-01-22T20:06:00.005+07:00

- "Back to the KITCHEN." -

Kemarin gw masak2 sama temen SD gw hehe..
Agak keasinan dikit masakannya huhu :(
Tapi overall masih lumayanlah, masih layak dimakan wkwk :P
Ini diaaa...

*hayo tebak masakan apa ini?*

Ini adalah IKAN KAKAP LADA HITAM!
Hehehe :D

Trus sebagai makanan pelengkapnya,, gw juga numis sayur caimiao :)

*tumis caimiao ebi*

Ini caimiaonya ditumis secara sederhana, tanpa kaldu atau saos tiram dan sejenisnya..
Jadi cuma ditumis bersama ebi dan bawang putih :)
Sederhana tapi sehat hoho ^^
Yuks mari makannnnnnn! (",)

2011-01-18T20:01:00.002+07:00

A year ago, 18th January 2010,
I started my first job as a teacher..
And thank God I've been teaching for exactly a year now!
Time flies so fast.. (",)

2011-01-16T00:04:00.006+07:00

- "You're my AWESOME God!" -

Hey,, last night was a very wonderful and marvelous night!! :D

Walaupun aku sempat merasa bahwa persiapan Worship Night "SHOUT TO THE LORD" Hieronimus kemarin masih kurang, tetapi puji Tuhan kalo semuanya boleh berjalan dengan begitu lancar dan luar biasa :)
Segala kekuatiran dan ketakutan yang kurasakan saat gladiresik tidak berjalan sesuai dengan rencana seketika itu juga sirna..
Hmm.. Sepertinya aku benar2 kehilangan kata2 untuk menggambarkan perasaanku berada di atas panggung dan melayani ratusan umat yang hadir di auditorium Yustinus lantai 15.. No words can describe my gratitude and feeling ^^

Perasaanku saat ini benar-benar campur aduk.. Antara bersyukur, namun juga sedih..

Bersyukur karena Dia memilih dan memberikan kesempatan bagiku untuk ikut melayani Dia sebagai tim pujian di acara besar seperti Worship Night ini, bahkan 2 kali dalam setengah tahun terakhir ini..
Bersyukur karena aku tau bahwa gak semua orang memiliki dan mau menerima kesempatan seperti ini..
Bersyukur atas apa yang telah Dia perbuat lewat acara2 ini..
Bersyukur karena aku boleh melihat karya dan penyertaanNya yang begitu luar biasa dalam pelayanan2ku selama ini..

Namun di sisi lain aku juga merasa sedih..
Sedih karena aku tau mungkin kemarin adalah WN terakhirku sebagai panitia dan tim pujian..
Sedih karena aku tau bahwa keluargaku tak sepenuhnya mendukung apa yang aku lakukan..
Sedih karena walaupun di saat2 mendatang aku diberi kesempatan untuk melayani di acara besar lagi, namun mungkin aku tak lagi bisa menerimanya..
Sedih karena aku sadar bahwa waktuku melayani di Hieronimus sudah semakin sedikit..
Ya, ini adalah tahun terakhir studiku di kampus Atma Jaya, yang berarti tahun terakhirku pula di kepengurusan Hieronimus..

Hmm..
Jika boleh memilih, aku ingin sekali bisa terus melayani Dia dalam setiap kesempatan, baik besar maupun kecil..
Jika boleh berharap, aku ingin sekali merasakan dukungan seluruh keluargaku atas pelayanan2ku..
Tetapi rasanya itu hal yang sulit..

Namun aku mau terus percaya, bahwa "sulit" bukan berarti "tidak mungkin".
Aku mau terus percaya bahwa ketika aku terus taruh kerinduanku untuk melayani Dia, maka Dia yang akan berikan kesempatan dan bukakan jalan bagiku..
Aku berharap semalam bukanlah pelayanan terakhirku sebagai panitia dan tim pujian WN :')

Terima kasih Tuhan, terutama untuk setiap kesempatan bagiku untuk melayaniMu di Worship Night, baik di WN Shekinah maupun WN Hieronimus..
Setiap detik melayaniMu sunguh begitu berharga dan selalu menjadi saat2 yang tak akan pernah kulupakan :)
I'm gonna miss those moments so much :')

Thanks for everything, Lord!
You made me got through it all :)
YOU're always gonna be my AWESOME God!! ^^
I love You, Jesus! (",)

*the AMAZING and UNFORGETTABLE moment*

Let's SHOUT to the Lord and rock the heaven!! :D

2011-01-12T13:24:00.002+07:00

"Ketika seseorang yang berarti pergi dari hidupmu,
percayalah,
itu hanya cara Tuhan untuk mempertemukanmu
dengan seseorang yang lebih baik.."

AMIINNNN!!

Aku mau pegang janjiMu, Tuhan (",)

2011-01-09T00:14:00.003+07:00

- "Semua BAIK." -

Dari semula t'lah Kau tetapkan
hidupku dalam tanganMu
dalam rencanaMu, Tuhan
Rencana indah t'lah Kau siapkan
bagi masa depanku yang penuh harapan

S'mua baik, s'mua baik
Apa yang t'lah Kau perbuat di dalam hidupku
S'mua baik, sungguh teramat baik
Kau jadikan hidupku berarti

Benar Tuhan,
sungguh setiap detik kehidupanku telah Kau tetapkan jauh sebelum aku ada.
Setiap peristiwa, suka duka, tawa tangis, jatuh bangun, semuanya Kau ijinkan terjadi untuk suatu tujuan yang baik bagi hidupku :')
Aku bersyukur memiliki Allah sepertiMu,
Allah yang memiliki cinta yang begitu besar atasku..
Trimakasih untuk setiap hal yang terjadi di dalam hidupku, Tuhan.
Aku mau menyerahkan segenap rencana, pengharapan, mimpi, cita2, dan seluruh kehidupanku ke dalam rencanaMu yang indah (",)

I love You, Lord!
You're my best :*

2011-01-07T21:29:00.005+07:00

- "Hero." -

There's a hero if you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid of what you are
There's an answer if you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know will melt away

And then the hero comes along with the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you

It's a long road and you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
You can find love if you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt will disappear

Oh Lord knows dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone tear them away
Hold on, there will be tomorrow
In time you'll find the way

Gw sangat suka lagu ini..
Ya, lagu "Hero" yang dinyanyikan oleh Mariah Carey ini seringkali membuat gw kembali bersemangat di saat2 gw down dan hilang harapan..
Setiap liriknya begitu membangun dan memberi semangat :)

Yuph, WE'RE THE HEROES of our own selves! (",)

2011-01-04T22:37:00.006+07:00

- "Life is a MYSTERY." -

Hari ini gw mendengar cerita dari salah satu temen BiG gw kalo ternyata temennya meninggal karena kecelakaan.. Jadi temennya ini pergi berlibur bersama keluarga dan cewenya di akhir tahun kemarin.. Mereka udh berpacaran selama 5 tahun.. Disana dia dan pacarnya main ATV (semacam track2an motor). Cewenya yang mengendarai motor itu dan dia dibonceng.. Saat di tikungan, cewenya ini kehilangan kendali sehingga mereka terlempar dari motor. Si cewe meninggal, dan cowonya gegar otak serta luka-luka! X_X

Jujur gw merinding banget pas diceritain kisah ini.. Agak gak percaya aja. Kisah yang sungguh tragis, seperti di novel2 dan sinetron.. Rasanya sedikit sulit untuk percaya bahwa hal seperti ini benar-benar terjadi di kehidupan nyata.. Siapa yang pernah menyangka bahwa mereka pergi berlibur dengan tujuan untuk refreshing dan bersukacita, namun justru malah harus kembali dengan dukacita dan rasa kehilangan yang mendalam?

Sekali lagi kisah tragis seperti ini mengingatkan gw bahwa kehidupan adalah misteri. Gak ada yang dapat mengetahui rencana Tuhan.. Semudah itu jika Tuhan ingin mengambil milikNya kembali. Gak ada yang pernah menyangka bahwa hal semacam ini akan terjadi. Gak ada yang pernah menduga bahwa kisah cinta mereka akan berakhir setragis ini. Hari esok, siapa yang tau?

Mungkin masing-masing dari kita udah merencanakan banyak hal untuk kehidupan kita beberapa tahun ke depan.. Kita punya target, mimpi, cita-cita, dan harapan.. Tetapi apa daya jika seluruh rencana kita itu gak sesuai dengan rencana yang Tuhan kehendaki atas hidup kita?
Semuanya itu bisa berubah dalam sekejap.

Kisah2 ini menyadarkan gw untuk selalu berusaha menjalani hari-hari dengan bijaksana, karena kita gak akan pernah tau kapan kita dipanggil kembali olehNya.. Orang yang mengidap AIDS belum tentu meninggal lebih dahulu daripada orang yang sehat walafiat. Orang tua belum tentu meninggal terlebih dahulu sebelum anaknya.. Ya, kematian adalah sesuatu yang benar-benar tak dapat ditebak. Dan kehilangan orang di sekitar kita akibat kematian juga merupakan suatu yang tak dapat diduga-duga. Kapanpun, kita harus siap. Siap kehilangan atau justru siap untuk dipanggil.. Huff. Mengerikan memang.. Namun sungguh, itulah yang terjadi dalam kehidupan ini.. Orang datang dan pergi. Lahir dan meninggal.
Siapkah kita menyerahkan segala kehidupan kita ke dalam tanganNya?

Life is really a mystery.. Nobody knows God's plans..

2011-01-04T00:24:00.007+07:00

- "babi CHASIU." -

My second dish at Puncak was.....
The New Year's special menu: BABI CHASIU!!
Nyummm kalo yg ini, pasti disukai oleh semua konsumen pork hehe :P

*how does my BABI CHASIU look? :)*

Yang ini juga butuh waktu masak yang cukup lama.. Maklum, memasak daging babi lebih sulit daripada daging lainnya krn daging babi agak susah matang.. Jadi harus bener2 dimasak dalam waktu yang cukup lama.. Tangan gw sampe pegel ngaduk2 kuali terus haha -.-"
Tapi hasilnya sangat memuaskan kok! Rasanya chasiu bangettttt..
Pernah mencoba babi chasiu di restoran2 nasi campur? Nahh yang ini lebih enak rasanya, krn dimasak oleh Astrid! Hahaha :P

2011-01-03T17:05:00.002+07:00

- "ayam merica SZECHUAN." -

Hmm I cooked 2 dishes when I was spending my holiday at Puncak at the end of the year 2010 :)
The first one is this:

*ayam merica szechuan*

Gw butuh waktu lebih dari 2 jam untuk membuat masakan ini..
Yaph, cukup memakan waktu karena ada beberapa bahan yang harus dipotong2, diiris2, dibersihin dulu, dll.. haha..
Tapi krn masaknya di puncak yang notabene udaranya segerrrr dan sejuk bgt, jadi masaknya pun gak berasa cape dan tetep enjoy banget :D
Hasilnyaa.. Lezaaatttt! Terutama bagi mereka yang suka pedes, dijamin suka dengan ayam merica szechuan ini, krn rasanya didominasi oleh lada dan cabe merah kering hehe..
Cobain yuksss! ;)

2011-01-02T19:22:00.006+07:00

- "happy NEW YEAR!!" -

Heyyyy HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 all! :)
I spent this new year eve at Puncak with my family and my brother's girlfriend.. I didn't have any internet connection there so I couldn't write my blog to say happy new year to you hehe..

Anyway, I want to say thanks to the people that were in my life through 2010..

Thanks to those who HATED me,
they made me a stronger person

Thanks to those who LOVED me,
they made my heart bigger

Thanks to those who were WORRIED about me,
they let me know that they actually cared

Thanks to those who LEFT me,
they made me realize that nothing lasts forever

Thanks to those who ENTERED my life,
they made me who I am today

Just want to THANK YOU for being there in my life whatever I might have meant to you.

Let everything be new! (",)
Happy new year 2011!!
God bless us through the following new year :)

2010-12-30T00:32:00.001+07:00

- "a REFLECTION of mine.." -

Here I'm standing back at the end of the year..
Everything that I've been through during this whole year, has been recorded in my heart and mind, either the sweet or the bitter ones..
Now let me recall a little reflection and the highlights of my life for the past one year, especially :)

.. JANUARI 2010 ..

Gw membuka tahun 2010 ini dengan begitu banyak doa dan pengharapan yang baru.. Gw sangat menaruh banyak harapan atas pemulihan hati dan hidup gw, terutama. Gw ingat saat itu gw masih sangat berjuang untuk melupakan seseorang yang menyakiti hati gw dengan amat sangat.. Dan setiap harinya gw berdoa agar mendapatkan kekuatan yang baru..
Di bulan Januari ini pula gw mendapatkan sebuah pekerjaan sebagai guru bahasa inggris di sebuah lembaga bahasa inggris, Brilliant Study Centre. Ya, ini adalah pekerjaan pertama gw :)
Saat itu gw sangat bimbang, apakah gw memang sebaiknya menerima tawaran pekerjaan ini atau tidak, karena gw takut gw gak cukup sanggup untuk kuliah sambil bekerja.. Gw takut pekerjaan gw akan mempengaruhi kuliah gw.. Tetapi setelah berdoa dan berkonsultasi dengan keluarga dan sahabat-sahabat gw, akhirnya gw memberanikan diri untuk menerima pekerjaan ini.. Dan yahh.. Puji Tuhan bahkan gw dapat bertahan mengajar hingga saat ini tanpa mengganggu kuliah gw ^^

.. FEBRUARI 2010 ..

Bulan Februari adalah salah satu bulan tersibuk dalam tahun ini. Ada begitu banyak hal yang harus gw lakukan dan perhatikan. Kuliah di semester padat. Mengajar. PD Hiero. PD BiG. Pembentukan dan pelantikan pengurus Hiero periode 2010. Panitia RHDR Hieronimus untuk bulan Maret. Ketua panitia ret-ret tim BiG untuk di akhir bulan Februari ini. Pfiuh.
Tapi gw bersyukur sangat karena kesibukan gw ini membantu gw mengalihkan pikiran gw dari setiap permasalahan dan luka hati gw.. Dan puji Tuhan semuanya boleh berjalan dengan lancar dan terkendali :)

*pelantikan pengurus Hiero 2010*

.. MARET 2010 ..

Pada tanggal 13-15 Maret 2010, RHDR Hieronimus diadakan di Puncak Kana.. Walaupun sempat mengalami berbagai hambatan baik secara teknis maupun rohani, tetapi bersyukur banget kalo RHDR ini boleh berjalan dengan lancar dan memberkati banyak orang.. Berawal dari bertugas sebagai WL di RHDR ini, gw ditawari untuk menjadi WL di acara Worship Night 5 Shekinah di bulan Juni.. Sungguh sesuatu yang tak pernah terlintas sama sekali dalam benak gw selama ini! Gw sampai terheran-heran dan tak percaya bahwa Tuhan memang memilih gw untuk melayani Dia sebagai WL WN 5.. Tetapi ada begitu banyak ketakutan dan kekuatiran dalam hati gw yang membuat gw ragu untuk berkata "ya" hingga akhirnya gw gak berani untuk memberikan jawaban..

*panitia dan peserta RHDR*

Hmm.. Di bulan ini pula pada akhirnya gw mendapati diri gw berhasil membuka hati kembali untuk orang lain setelah gw disakiti.. Gw cukup dekat dengan seorang cowo dan jujur gw mulai menaruh harapan pada dia..

.. APRIL 2010 ..

4 Maret 2010, gw berhasil menuntaskan puasa dan pantang daging gw selama 46 hari dalam rangka mempersiapkan diri untuk menyambut paskah :)
Inilah pertama kalinya gw berhasil berpuasa dan berpantang penuh, tanpa bolong-bolong hehe.. Thanks God He made me through everything :)
Dan pada akhirnya di awal bulan ini gw memberanikan diri untuk menerima tawaran menjadi WL WN 5 Shekinah.. Sungguh sebuah keputusan yang tak mudah dan penuh tanggung jawab, namun gw membulatkan hati untuk menerimanya dan berusaha untuk mempersembahkan yang terbaik buat Dia..
Tetapi sayang sekali, di bulan April ini hati gw kembali terluka.. Cowo yang dekat dengan gw itu diam-diam memilih teman gw dan perlahan-lahan menjauh dari gw.. Dia hanya meninggalkan bekas luka dan menguak kembali trauma dalam hidup gw :'(
Sekali lagi gw harus belajar untuk mengampuni dan melepaskan.. Sungguh sesuatu yang tak mudah.. Pfiuh.

.. MEI 2010 ..

Bulan Mei dipenuhi dengan berbagai latihan band dan akustik untuk mempersiapkan WN. Hati dan perasaan gw seringkali diguncang dalam mempersiapkan WN ini.. Ada banyak hal yang membuat gw down, membuat gw merasa ragu dan gak yakin untuk tetap maju melangkah.. Tetapi gw berusaha sangat keras agar segala hambatan dan guncangan itu gak menghalangi gw untuk melayani Dia secara maksimal di WN nanti.. Satu per satu latihan-latihan gw jalani.. Latihan di gading malam-malam naik motor dari Atma ke studio Chronicles di gading. Berusaha menyatukan hati dengan setiap personil tim pujian lain yang sama sekali gak gw kenal. Berusaha menjaga jam doa dan puasa dengan tekun. Hmm.. Berat namun sungguh tak terlupakan :)

.. JUNI 2010 ..

Akhirnyaaa.. 6 Juni 2010 berhasil untuk dilewati juga. Worship Night 5 Shekinah. Melayani sebagai WL penyembahan pun berhasil gw lalui bersama Dia.. Walaupun ada begitu banyak air mata, ketegangan, kekuatiran, ketakutan, kelelahan, dan kesesakan yang harus gw jalani selama persiapan WN ini, namun semuanya itu sungguh terbayar saat gw dapati WN boleh berjalan dengan begitu luar biasa! Tiba-tiba segala pengorbanan gw dalam mempersiapkan WN ini tidak berarti apa-apa dibandingkan pekerjaan besar yang telah Dia lakukan lewat WN ini :)
Terima kasih, Tuhan, atas kesempatan ini.. Sungguh gw tak henti-hentinya bersyukur melihat pekerjaan Dia yang begitu luar biasa lewat pengalaman melayani Dia di sebagai WL WN ini.. Dan tak terhitung berkat dan sukacita yang Dia curahkan.. Thank You, Lord! ^^

*melayani di WN 5*

.. JULI 2010 ..

Bulan Juli selalu menjadi bulan yang istimewa dan gw tunggu-tunggu karena di bulan ini gw berulang tahun :)
Gw melewati ulang tahun gw dengan keluarga dan sahabat-sahabat yang gw kasihi.. Thanks for all the loves, surprises, bday presents, and your presence guys! (",)
Really love you all.. I wish next year I could celebrate my birthday with you all too :)
Rekoleksi tim Hiero juga diadakan di bulan Juli ini.. Ada banyak pemulihan hubungan antar tim yang terjadi dan gw sangat bersyukur atas hal itu.. Overall, bulan Juli adalah salah satu bulan terbaik gw dalam tahun ini.. Gw sangat menikmati libur antar semester gw tiap harinya.. Gw les nyetir mobil, bikin SIM, masak, pergi jalan-jalan dengan keluarga dan teman-teman, reuni, nonton, nginep, dll.. I really enjoyed this month! :)

*my special bday with special friends*

.. AGUSTUS 2010 ..

Semester 5 dimulaiii.. Pheww.. Back to campus! Back to reality! No more leisure time, no more cooking, no more taking a nap at the afternoon haha.. Gw kembali menjalani segala aktivitas dan kesibukan gw.. Kuliah 10 mata kuliah (24 sks), mengajar, pelayanan, keluarga.. Mantap! hehe :P
Tapi gw menjalani semuanya dengan sukacita dan rasa syukur :)
Oya, seorang cowo yang kurang lebih satu tahun lalu pernah mendekati gw, sekarang tiba-tiba muncul kembali dalam hidup gw dan dia kembali mendekati gw.. Entah mengapa gw mulai kembali merasa nyaman dengan dia hingga akhirnya hubungan kami pun menjadi cukup dekat lagi :)

.. SEPTEMBER 2010 ..

Di bulan September ini ada MIA! Gw dan beberapa anak Hiero sibuk mempersiapkan presentasi PD di MIA nanti.. Tetapi puji Tuhan kalo akhirnya semuanya boleh berjalan dengan cukup lancar.. Satu hal yang paling gw ingat, cowo yang mendekati gw ini sampai sengaja menyusul ke puncak dengan beberapa temannya di tengah malam untuk bertemu dengan gw.. Dan disana kami digosipkan oleh hampir semua teman-temannya, bahkan romo Adi pun menggosipkan kami! Haha.. Dia mulai secara jelas memperlihatkan gelagatnya mendekati gw dan memberikan gw perhatian lebih.. Hmm.. He was so sweet that time! *blushing*

*panitia dan undangan MIA*

.. OKTOBER 2010 ..

30 Oktober 2010.. Akhirnya dia menyatakan perasaannya pada gw dan meminta gw untuk menjadi kekasihnya :)
Setelah kedekatan intens kami selama dua bulan terakhir, rasa percaya, serta perasaan nyaman yang gak bisa gw pungkiri ketika gw bersama dia, membuat gw akhirnya menerima dia.. And here we began our love journey.. Kami bersama-sama membangun mimpi-mimpi serta harapan-harapan untuk ke depannya.. Bersama-sama saling mencoba untuk lebih dekat dan menyesuaikan diri :)

*the day we began our journey*

.. NOVEMBER 2010 ..

November was the sweetest month in the year.. I was totally in love with him and I loved him more each day.. Bulan ini begitu banyak hal manis yang kami lalui bersama. Tiba-tiba weekends gw berubah menjadi begitu menyenangkan dan menjadi hal yang paling kami tunggu-tunggu setiap harinya :)
Gw menunggu saat-saat quality time bersama dia.. Dan gak pernah mau melewatkan saat-saat itu dengan sia-sia.. Setiap saat bersama dia terasa begitu berharga dan membuat gw bahagia, begitu pun dengan dia :)
Walaupun sempat ada beberapa masalah dan hambatan dalam hubungan gw, namun gw menjalaninya dengan sukacita lebih karena kini ada dia yang memenuhi hari-hari gw dan menjadi tempat gw mencurahkan perhatian dan kasih sayang.. Hmm.. I will never forget every single moment that I shared with him..

*my precious moments with him*

.. DESEMBER 2010 ..

Badai kembali menghampiri hidup gw. 4 Desember 2010, hubungan gw dan dia harus berakhir. Ya, keadaan memaksanya untuk mengakhiri hubungan kami.. Huff. Gw kehilangan dia. Sangat merasa kehilangan. Berat sekali rasanya harus menjalani UAS dengan kondisi hati yang terluka seperti ini.. Jangankan fokus belajar dan ujian, menjalani hari-hari aja rasanya segan dan tanpa arah.. Pikiran gw begitu terfokus padanya dan permasalahan di antara kami yang belum terselesaikan hingga saat ini.. Segala tawa dan senyuman gw tiba-tiba kembali berubah menjadi tangisan dan air mata.. Sekali lagi gw harus belajar untuk mengampuni dan melepaskan.. Dan juga melupakan. Tetapi gw bersyukur luar biasa karena gw memiliki keluarga dan sahabat-sahabat di samping gw yang menopang gw disaat-saat gw down seperti ini.. Gw bersyukur karena mereka memberikan gw kekuatan lebih untuk menjalani hari-hari ke depan.. Tanpa mereka, gw tau gw gak akan bisa pulih secepat ini.. Tanpa mereka, gw tau hari-hari gw akan terasa jauh lebih berat dan menyakitkan.. Thanks God for sending me the angels like them in my life.. God really bless them all :)

* I really wish I ever had a chance to say good bye to you :'( *

Yeah, this is my life in 2010..
Untuk segala sukacita, gw bersyukur karena gw percaya semua itu diberikan olehNya untuk menjadikan hari-hari gw indah dan penuh warna..
Dan untuk segala hal yang menyakitkan, gw percaya bahwa semuanya itu membuat gw selangkah lagi menjadi lebih kuat dan dewasa..
I'm thankful for everything that I've been through with You, Lord! :)
For I know everything happens for a good reason and Your plans are the best..
Thank You.. Really thank You..
Keep guiding me through the new year that is coming soon, God..
I'll walk with You, always. (",)

2010-12-29T13:17:00.003+07:00

- "UDANG hoisin." -

Huaa.. I've just made one of my best cooking ever!
Udang hoisin! Haha..
Akhirnya gw iseng2 nyoba masak udang, ternyata maknyossssss! :D

*my yummy udang hoisin!*

Udangnya garing bangetttt.. Dipadukan dengan rasa asin dan manis saos hoisin :)
Mmmhhhh.. So yummyyyyyy!! ^^

2010-12-28T15:18:00.003+07:00

- "MEAT Tofu Oriental" -

Masak lagiiiiiiii hehe :D
Kali ini gw mencoba masak daging sapi, secara selama ini belum pernah masak daging sapi sepertinya hoho..
Setelah utak atik buku resep, akhirnya gw memutuskan untuk masak meat tofu oriental, yang cukup mudah dan simple tapi enak..
Dan ini dia hasilnyaaaa..

*Meat Tofu Oriental ala Chef Astrid*

Sapinya enak, gak terlalu keras, tapi juga gak terlalu empuk..
Dan tahunyaaaa.. hmm lembut banget! :D
Mau?

2010-12-27T23:58:00.006+07:00

"Relationships fail NOT because
they are destined to fail.
They failed because
one of the two or both,
made a choice to give up."

Hey listen,
deciding to GIVE UP so easily
when we haven't done our best efforts
is something that is NOT ME AT ALL
and damn I HATE IT so much!!

The way you ended our relationship
really force me to assume
that I've never been something special in your life :'(
How could you do this to me??
I trusted you a lot..
I just.. Really hate the way you did it.
Really hate it.
Thanks for hurting me this way..
Hhhh!!

2010-12-26T14:16:00.004+07:00

- "CHICKEN Mustard Black Pepper Sauce" -

Hey.. heyy!! I'm back to the kitchen! Haha :D
Didn't have time to cook for the past 6 months,
now I'm ready to serve some special dishes again during this short holiday ;)
And here it is, my 1st cooking for this month..
CHICKEN MUSTARD BLACK PEPPER SAUCE (",)

*my yummy chicken mustard black pepper sauce*

I'm sorry because the picture provided here looks a little bit uninteresting,
but trust me that it tastes so great! Hehe..
The combination of mustard, cream, and black pepper make it taste just like an expensive chicken steak! Nyumm..

I bet you'll craving for this food once you've tried it! Hihi ;)

2010-12-25T23:28:00.004+07:00

- "Christmas" -

Finally.. It's Christmas!!
Akhirnya natal tahun ini tiba..
Natal yang seharusnya selalu kutunggu-tunggu..
Akhirnya aku berhasil melewatinya..

Walaupun natal tahun ini kembali aku lewati sendiri tanpa kekasih,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Walaupun natal tahun ini hatiku sedang terluka,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Walaupun di malam natal tahun ini aku tak dapat pergi ke gereja,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Walaupun di malam natal tahun ini aku tak memiliki acara apa-apa bersama keluarga maupun teman,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Walaupun di malam natal tahun ini perasaanku sedang kacau,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Walaupun di malam natal tahun ini keadaan keluargaku sedang tak begitu baik,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Walaupun natal tahun ini aku tak pergi keluar kota,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Walaupun natal tahun ini aku tak makan malam natal bersama keluargaku,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Walaupun natal tahun ini aku tak merasakan suasana natal,
namun aku BERSYUKUR..

Aku bersyukur karena boleh melewatkan satu natal lagi di dalam hidupku..
Aku bersyukur atas segala hal yang boleh Ia perbuat dalam hidupku hingga natal ke 20 dalam hidupku ini..
Aku bersyukur karena aku masih memiliki keluarga yang utuh untuk bersama-sama melewatkan natal yang sederhana denganku..

Thank You for this simple Christmas, Lord :)
Welcome to my heart..
Really hope that the warmth of Jesus' born stays within my life and soul forever ^^
I love you, Jesus..

.. MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010 ..

2010-12-20T21:31:00.008+07:00

- "the SPECIAL X'mas cards =) " -

I've been receiving the special Christmas cards from my very special best friend, Ria Wulandari, since the 1st year of Christmas that we spent together in 2008 :)
Every year, she never forgets to make one special Christmas card for me and I always wait for it hihi :D
These are the cards specially made by her for me ^^

- 2008 -

*her first own-made X'mas card for me*

- 2009 -

*last's year lovely X'mas card :)*

- 2010 -

.The first part.

*this year's SUPER DUPER CUTE X'mas card! :D*

. the second part.

*full of our memories from the beginning till now on :)*

This is where I put them.. On the best part of my room where I can see clearly it from every other part of my room =)

*three special X'MAS CARDS, a BDAY CARD, a lovely BDAY FRAME, a cute BDAY CARICATURE all made by her (",)*

Thanks for all the special gifts for me, dear..
Love them so muchhhh :)
Love you too my bestiest ever :*
Keep our special bond of friendship tight till the end ;)
*huggsssss hugggssssss!*

Anyway, I'm waiting for the next Christmas cards and birthday presents hahaha :P :D

2010-12-18T23:44:00.009+07:00

- "Back to the PLACE where I BELONG.." -

Tiga minggu sudah aku tak menginjakkan kaki di gereja manapun,
termasuk melewatkan misa-misa harian di kapel kampusku..
Tiga minggu sudah aku "lari" dari gereja dan tak memiliki cukup kerinduan untuk kembali.

Hari-hari berat yang kulalui setelah aku mengakhiri hubunganku dengan mantan kekasih membuat aku sempat merasa kecewa dan marah padaNya.
Aku terus bertanya-tanya, "Mengapa Dia memberikan hadiah kepadaku tetapi mengambilnya kembali dengan cepat? Apa maksudNya?!"
Saat itu aku marah dan menangis.
Aku tidak bisa memahami tujuanNya mengijinkan semua ini terjadi..
Walaupun jauh di dalam hati kecilku aku percaya bahwa semua ini terjadi demi kebaikanku sendiri,
tetapi aku tak kuasa untuk membendung perasaan sedih dan kecewa..
Ya, aku hanyalah manusia biasa.
Manusia yang punya pikiran dan perasaan.
Manusia yang rapuh dan mudah terluka.

Tak hanya itu, aku pun merasa tidak cukup siap untuk kembali ke gerejaku karena disanalah kenangan terakhirku bersama dia..
Ya, tanggal 27 November yang lalu, di minggu pertama masa adven, aku mengikuti misa bersama dia disana..
Dan juga bersama kedua orang tuaku..
Saat itu aku merasa sangat bahagia karena akhirnya aku bisa mengikuti misa bersama kedua orang tuaku dan kekasihku..
Sungguh sebuah moment yang telah lama kunantikan..

Perasaan kecewa pada Tuhan dan ketakutan untuk mengenang kembali moment indah bersamanya saat mengikuti misa ini membuatku melarikan diri dari gereja.
Aku tidak merasa rindu pada misa kudus.
Aku terlalu fokus memikirkan rasa sakit dan sibuk memulihkan diri sendiri tanpaNya..
Aku terlalu takut untuk menghadapi suasana yang sama saat misa disana,
namun kali ini tanpa kehadirannya..
Dan aku tau bahwa untuk selamanya kami tak akan pernah mengikuti misa bersama-sama lagi sebagai sepasang kekasih..

Tetapi hari ini aku memutuskan untuk kembali.
Aku kembali menginjakkan kaki di gereja kesayanganku.
Aku kembali mengikuti misa kudus dan menyambut tubuh Kristus.
Aku kembali mendengarkan firmanNya dan menyanyi memuji Dia.

Ada sedikit keraguan dalam hatiku saat aku tiba di depan gereja.
Perasaan ragu apakah aku akan cukup kuat untuk tidak kembali teringat dan merasa sedih di dalam sana.
Tetapi aku menepis segala perasaan takut dan raguku itu.
Aku tau tak seharusnya aku lari dan menjauh dari Dia.
Aku harus kembali.
Ada sebuah CINTA SEJATI yang menungguku untuk menyambutNya di altar gereja.
Ya, cinta sejati yang hanya dapat kutemukan di dalam diri Yesus Tuhanku :)

Dia sudah menungguku.
Menungguku untuk kembali mendekat padaNya dan menaruh segala bebanku padaNya
Menungguku untuk kembali mencintaiNya dan percaya sepenuhnya padaNya
Menungguku untuk kembali memeluk dan merasakan hadiratNya
Menungguku untuk kembali menerima kedamaian dan berkat-berkatNya

Saat aku kembali ke gereja,
ternyata kudapati diriku sangat merindukan persekutuan bersamaNya
Aku sangat menikmati setiap menit keterlibatanku dalam misa kudus itu
Rasanya tak ingin misa ini segera berakhir.
Aku sadar bahwa di luar Dia aku tak memiliki kekuatan apa-apa.
Aku ingin terus tinggal di dalamNya dan bersekutu denganNya.

And here I am, Lord..
I'm standing in Your presence,
waiting for You to hug me and say that everything will be alright..
I really miss You, Jesus..
I'm sorry cos I've been running away from You for the last three weeks..
I'm sorry cos I've skipped all the holy masses and refused to go to the church..
Now I realize that the only true happiness and joy can only be found in You and Your church :)

Here I am..
I'm coming back to the church, to the place where I belong..
and I'll never walk away from You anymore, I promise!
I love You :)

2010-12-18T12:09:00.003+07:00

- "thanks God I have you all.." -

Bulan Desember tahun 2010 ini kembali menjadi sebuah bulan yang "tough" bagi hidupku..
Kembali lagi aku harus melepaskan dan kehilangan seseorang yang kusayang, karena keadaan memisahkan kami..
Kembali lagi aku harus meneteskan air mata..
Kembali lagi aku harus merasakan sakit hati yang membuatku melewati hari-hari dengan tidak mudah..

Satu bulan.
Ya, satu bulan yang manis dan penuh kenangan bersamanya..
Waktu yang diberikan Tuhan bagiku untuk merasakan kebahagiaan itu sangatlah singkat..
Begitu banyak hal yang belum sempat kami lalui bersama..
Begitu banyak mimpi dan harapan yang belum terwujud bersamanya..
Hanya satu bulan.
November, the sweetest month in the year.

Kini aku dan dia sudah tak lagi bersama.
Keadaan memisahkan kami begitu saja..
Siapa yang harus disalahkan?
Tidak ada.
Aku dan dia hanyalah korban dari keadaan yang tak bisa diubah.
Keadaan yang memupuskan segala mimpi dan harapan kami..
Keadaan yang mengubah kehidupan kami.

Tetapi aku tak pernah menyesali segala yang telah terjadi dan kami lalui bersama..
Karena aku tau ada banyak sekali pelajaran yang dapat kupetik dari kejadian ini..
Ada banyak hal yang membuka mataku, dan selangkah lagi membuat aku menjadi seorang wanita yang lebih kuat dan dewasa..

Mungkin banyak orang di luar sana yang tidak tau apa permasalahannya,
dan masing-masing dari mereka membuat asumsi dan penghakiman tersendiri terhadap diriku..
Mungkin mereka terkejut karena "track record" berpacaranku hanya satu bulan..
Entah apa yang akan mereka pikirkan dan katakan tentang aku..
Tetapi aku tidak peduli.
Terserah bagaimana penilaian mereka terhadapku..
Toh mereka tidak tau apa yang sesungguhnya terjadi.
Aku lelah menjelaskannya pada orang-orang..
Karena setiap kali menjelaskannya, aku akan kembali mengingat dirinya dan hatiku kembali terluka..
Biarlah hanya orang-orang terdekatku saja yang memahami apa yang sebenarnya terjadi..

Dan biarlah kini aku kembali sendiri..
Menjalani hari-hariku tanpa dia.
Tapi aku akan tetap kuat.
Karena aku tau aku tak pernah sendiri..
Aku punya Dia dan orang-orang yang kukasihi di sekelilingku yang akan selalu ada untukku dan menopangku :)
Entah berapa banyak ucapan syukur yang harus aku ucapkan atas kehadiran mereka di dalam hidupku..
Mereka adalah malaikat-malaikat yang dikirimkan oleh Dia untuk mewarnai hari-hariku..
I love them, really love them :)

Special LOVE and THANKS for:

Ria Wulandari
Sulistia Wijaya
Shinta Lee
Daniel V.W
Selva Lianawati
Alvin Munaf
Brothers and sisters in PDKK St. Hieronimus

for praying, cheering me up, supporting, being beside me, and loving me always :)
I love you, guys.. And I never stop thanking God for having you all in my life..
May God bless you abundantly and return everything that you've given to me..
*hugggssss*

2010-12-15T21:36:00.002+07:00

The measure of a mature person is on how they MOVE ON
and STAND UP after everything goes wrong..

Yes, I'm mature and strong enough!!

2010-12-10T17:28:00.006+07:00

I used to be waiting for weekends
but now weekends mean nothing for me
for I don't have a mate
to spend Saturday nights with me anymore
I really miss the "Lumpi's Day"
:')

2010-12-09T22:40:00.005+07:00

- "against all ODDS.." -

How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just a memory of your face

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
And there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just a memory of your face

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've got to face

Take a look at me now
'Cause I'll be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take

Oh take a look at me now..

2010-12-04T23:43:00.038+07:00

A Note for You

2010-11-30T16:23:00.001+07:00

- 30.11.10 -
Our first month for being together..
So lucky to have you in my life, dear :)
God bless us! *huggss*

2010-11-21T22:15:00.000+07:00

Between LOGIC and FEELING = balance!

2010-11-14T19:32:00.005+07:00

Hey dear,
there might be so many obstacles in our relationship forward..
But I believe that there will always be a hope and we can get it through together hand in hand :)
As what you have ever said before that how hard the stone is, someday it would be broken by every single drop of water..
So let's just be patient. Be strong. Be faithful.
Every obstacle will prove that our love is worthwhile to be held on.
Let's try our best and surrender the rest to the Lord.
Let He leads our way, dear, for His way is the best for both of us! (",)

.iHeartYou.

2010-11-07T14:37:00.004+07:00

Believes that God will make a way
when there's seems to be no way..
I'll surrender everything to You, Lord! (",)

2010-10-31T11:42:00.004+07:00

- "at the BEGINNING with YOU.." -

We were strangers starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are..
I'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you..

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start..

And life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

We were strangers in a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams will come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
at the beginning with you..

Knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

Let's we start our wonderful journey =)
30.10.10